Dancing: The Story of Us
by GirlCrushonAli
Summary: The shortest distance between two points may be a line, but Tenten and Neji can never walk a straight path. The story of Tenten and Neji from childhood to old age as told in six parts. R&R, please
1. Prologue and Youth

**Please review this one more than my others . . . as this is my favorite thing that I have written that isn't just pure humor! I tried more than usual ****. I cannot actually finish until I know the ending of the manga, as I want to prevent the story from being too AU.**

**Xxxxx**

**Dancing:**

_The slowest way to cross a path._

****

**Prologue:**

The first time that I can remember him, I was probably four years old and dancing in the rain. I loved the rain and couldn't decide what such a pretty boy was doing hiding from it under a canopy in the market. I probably didn't think that he was 'pretty,' but I do remember thinking that he looked wrong in the rain-almost like a lost little puppy trying to avoid drowning in the strange water falling from the sky.

He was staring at me and most definitely thought that I was crazy. He had a concerned look on his face, as if scared that I might be hurt due to my little rain dance. I smiled at him while twirling about, but I wasn't sure if he could see it through the rain and through my spins. I was always good at seeing in motion throughout my life.

The little white-eyed boy takes a step forward and I try to slow down to offer him my hand, but I end up collapsing to the ground. That concerned look is back in his face, and I wonder if he's the one that needs help.

He's coming out of the canopy and when the first raindrops hit him, his white robe turns a dull grey. It's not perfect anymore.

I smile from the ground and try not to laugh at myself or him. My hair is a mess and lying about in dark waves. It probably blends with the mud around me. Konoha's streets aren't perfectly clean, but they're perfect for little girls who want soft ground to fall on.

He doesn't smile in return, but he offers his hand. I happily accept and he pulls me to my feet with a fluidity that you'd never expect from someone also still little more than a toddler.

"You looked silly. Why were you doing that?" He has an innocence like mine, but not quite the same. He has a destiny and even my four-year-old self can sense it.

"It was fun!" I shout as I throw my arms up with abandon. "You should do it too! You're already wet!"

He arches an eyebrow (what four-year-old can do that) and I'm relegated to the party of "insanity" instantly. My little self doesn't recognize this of course, so I try to grab his hands. He lets me, at first without any reluctance, but tries to pull away as soon as I start twirling again. "Who are you?" he whispers with an absolute confusion. I let his hands drop if only so that I can continue. He whispers something that I can't understand except for the "tien-tien" at the end. It's Chinese and "tien-tien" is heaven. I wonder if he thinks that is my name.

He's back under the canopy, watching me, and I'm spinning in the rain. I can see him, but he can't really see me. And he thinks that I'm crazy, but he can't help but be fascinated. This one moment defines our entire lives together.

I didn't have a clue that he also thought that I was beautiful- that the mud on my hair and face made me look exotic-and I wouldn't learn for years that he thought I was a figment of his childhood imagination. It was four years until he next saw me, and even then he wasn't sure if I were real. He'd be a lot less innocent, and a lot more angry.

The poor boy never had a chance at escaping. I could always see him.

**Part 1: Youth**

The first time that I saw Neji smile was three weeks after our first meeting. I was running along the roofs of Konoha when I noticed a familiar little head of black hair. He was walking with a man that looked exactly like him, only maybe four feet taller.

I watched as the father went into a shop and left the boy outside. I crouched down on the roof of the shop across the street, hoping that he didn't look up. Neji was just standing there, almost perfectly still, as if being alone on the near deserted street were the most casual thing imaginable. He was obviously bored, any four year old would be, but he just stood there. I was bored just watching him.

I was about to lose interest when Neji's father returned with some boxes and gave one to Neji. Neji was obviously excited, but didn't tear into the box. He looked at his father, as if begging for permission, but of course this regal little boy didn't beg.

The father nodded once and Neji daintily opened it up. I was curious about what would excite my friend so much and tried to wait nicely too.

I couldn't see inside from my vantage point, and Neji seemed disinclined to show me what he had received from his father. He closed the box back up, and when he looked at his father, he was smiling. I felt shocked that the little boy smiled. I shouldn't have been (he wasn't that dour man yet), but something was wrong with the scene.

I followed them both back to the Hyugga compound, leaping across alleyways when I had to. The streets were oddly quiet today, so it wasn't difficult to find them.

I was four years old with barely developing chakra. Neji's father, who probably would have laughed at being followed by such an urchin, didn't seem to notice me. Maybe he did, and maybe he didn't, but Neji had no idea.

I hung my feet off the last house before the compound and watched them enter through the gate. I couldn't just walk in there. I'd have to wait to find out what was inside the box.

I continued to stare at the gate even after it was closed and they had long since disappeared. I had no idea what was in the box, but I was determined to find out.

I shimmied down the side of the house and walked along the streets back to the place where I'd first seen Neji. I was four years old, and not a genius, so I had no idea what the store was selling. I walked inside without any regard for the sign that warned, "Children should be accompanied by adults."

The store walls were lines with ninja gear. I wasn't stupid, just not a genius, so I knew what some of the stuff was. They had lots of things, from the green vests that chunin wore all the way to the big spinning things that ninja practiced with. I was a child and of course drawn to the wall with the big shiny weapons.

There was a big man behind the counter, not very tall, but really round. He had dark balding hair and wore an apron. I guessed all this because all I could see was his back. He was busy doing something behind the counter and oblivious to my presence; the man was obviously not a ninja, only sold supplies to them.

I ignored the man and stared at the 'toys.' I knew that they really weren't for play, but everything on the wall looked like fun to me. The first weapon that I ever held was a kunai and I instantly knew that I needed it. It felt right in my hand and I didn't want to put it down. I looked at the man, whose back was still turned to me, and walked out of the shop with my new toy. It was just one, and I figured that the man would never miss it.

I was right, as it was just an average kunai. It felt like so much more to me, though. It was my future that I held in my small hand, even if I had idea.

I didn't run from the shop (it wasn't my first stolen good and wouldn't be my last), but instead walked out past the center of the shopping district, right out to where I knew that ninjas liked to work. It was a training ground, and I'd seen ninjas going here before. They didn't like the kids to watch, but we snuck out there anyway. Kids were always curious. Adult places were even more exciting when they were forbidden.

I knew what ninjas did with kunai; there were broken ones scattering the ground around one of the targets, and I knew that I had to try. It was too big for my hand and I was too far from the target, so my first throw with my first weapon didn't even make it half way to the target. It didn't even lodge itself properly into the ground, but instead fell flat. All in all, it was extremely pathetic and I was very happy that no one saw my failure. I was especially happy that Neji wasn't there to see it.

I tried again, this time from a much more reasonable distance, and still utterly failed. I tried all afternoon and didn't once make my kunai lodge itself in the log. I managed to hit it a few times, but the pointy part never seemed to want to go where I wanted. My first day I failed, but that night I got better. I managed to stick the dummy—once, but it was still impressive for a kid.

I sucked and was annoyed that I couldn't make the kunai go like I wanted, but I didn't really care. I found something incredibly fun to do with my time. This was why Neji was excited, I was sure. Neji had been given a bunch of toys like this, and he was probably playing with them right now. The thought made me jealous, but more determined to get better. If he got a bunch of them, then I was going to get really good with my one. I was a kid, so this was how I thought. That night an exhausted four-year-old slept in the trees just outside of Training Ground 4.

I didn't see Neji again for a whole year, probably because I spent every hour that I could throwing my kunai at the wooden stump. I got better too, especially when I watched the ninja who frequented Training Ground 4 more closely. I learned to hold it properly and how to throw. I wasn't inept anymore, but I certainly wasn't as good as they were. I didn't care though, because I was confident that I was better than Neji, my rival who didn't know that he was in a competition.

I stumbled across Neji and his father outside of the same ninja store. Neji had gone inside with his father this time and was carrying two boxes. I was insanely jealous as Neji was getting two boxes of things and all I had was one kunai and a bunch of broken ones that I'd taken off the ground. I again followed him back and noticed that he wasn't so happy this time while walking home with the boxes. He seemed immune, as if new presents didn't matter to him.

I snuck back to the store and stole my first shuriken along with two more kunai. That was a lot riskier, but the worker wasn't even at the front desk when I went inside.

At five I mastered the kunai. By six the shuriken was no problem.

In December of my sixth year I saw Neji again. He looked miserable. He had a funny scarf wrapped around his head and was not talking to his father that accompanied him. He was taking three boxes from the ninja store, but I didn't feel as angry this time. I was six and a master with my two weapons. I was sure that he couldn't match me, even if he had lots of things inside those three boxes. I still snuck inside and stole a handful of senbon, though. They were small and I didn't really think that they were as cool as my other toys, but Neji had three boxes and I wanted three things too.

By seven the senbon were second only to my kunai. The shuriken was bigger and difficult for my small hands to throw. I was good, better than most ninja, even with my tiny hands.

At eight I saw Neji again outside of the Ninja Supply House. I could read the name now. This time he was alone and looked angry. He wasn't just unhappy, but looked like he wanted to hurt the world. He carried three boxes from the store and didn't even look at anyone as he walked home.

As he walked into the compound, rain started to fall. He stopped for a moment to look up at the sky. He still had that unhappy look, but it softened as he closed his eyes let the drops strike him. After he went inside I decided that I needed a dance in the rain. I'd been busy with my practice, but I'd seen what happened when you practiced too hard—you became miserable and sad. Poor Neji.

I spun in circles before the Hyuuga gate, hoping that my little friend didn't go crazy with sadness. I hoped that he learned to dance in the rain. I hoped that he smiled again. I mostly hoped that I could one day make him smile.

I stayed in the rain until I started to shiver and had to find cover. I wasn't bothered by the cold of the rain. I'd seen Neji Hyuuga's angry eyes and nothing compared to that bitter iciness.

Most kids start the academy at eight years old. Neji did, I followed him there that September. Me, I didn't have a family to enroll me and no one had noticed that I had any chakra ability. The ninja that typically picked up on that sort of thing probably weren't watching the street kids of Konoha. I didn't have a Hokage watching out for me, and I didn't have any idea if I came from a ninja family. I don't know what would have happened to a civilian who was a danger to the populace. Maybe they would've eventually made me leave the village when I got older and eventually caused havoc. Maybe they just would've chased me around like they did Naruto. I wasn't a genius and wouldn't have caused any serious injuries without knowing any jutsu. Anyway, it was pure luck that I was detected at all.

I knew the day that the academy started, so the night before I slept right outside of the Hyuuga compound, not on the ground, but up on the roof of the last house before the city limits ended, where the Hyuuga residence started.

Neji left the house at exactly six-thirty. I followed him, wondering why he was leaving his house so early since class started at eight. He arrived at the school by seven and by seven-ten was sitting in his seat. The white-haired teacher was still organizing his notes for the day and only registered the early student with a nod. Neji deigned to return it, but only just enough to not be rude. He had that same angry look that he wore the last time that I'd seen him.

I watched him from one of the classroom windows, hanging upside down by my feet. I wasn't sticking to the building with chakra, but it was helping to support my weight, even if I didn't know it.

At eight, my chakra was much stronger than at four. A passing teacher sensed an extremely low level signature and went to investigate, figuring that a student was on the roof, or someone was concealing his chakra.

Iruka-sensei was extremely lucky that it was only Tenten, as he was extremely ill prepared when I flung myself back onto the roof. He stared at me, gaping as if he'd never seen a child before in his life.

"What are you doing here?" he asked when he finally managed to pull himself together.

"Nothing," I defended in the ever-useful student to teacher response.

"Why aren't you in class young . . . person?" He was taking in my appearance, the muddy look was definitely in today, and probably couldn't figure out if I were a male or female. Long hair on boys wasn't terrible uncommon. Just look at the object of my attention if you need an example.

"Umm . . . I'm not a student here."

Iruka stared at me again, as if waiting for me to disappear. He had the look of someone who had just discovered a serious issue and wished that he hadn't. All of that was true, but he didn't need to make it so obvious.

"So, then why are you here?"

I shrugged. "I dunno."

"That's not an answer young . . . lady." He guessed right. He had a pained look on his face as he said it, though. He was hoping that I didn't cry about having someone call me the wrong gender.

"I just wanted to see it."

"See what?" Iruka was getting testy. He probably had to get back to class himself, even if he was one of the competent people that had actually finished his lesson plan for the day.

"The school."

"Well, why didn't your parents take you here? Are they against their daughter being a ninja? You'll have to see the Hokage if that's the case."

I wasn't sure how to respond to him. I didn't have parents and I was fairly certain that he'd make me see the Hokage if I said that too.

"I'm confused. I don't know what's going on."

Iruka looked confused too. "You're here to see about coming to school?" It wasn't really a good question, but he said it nonetheless.

"Not really. I'm just a normal kid." He was definitely annoyed now.

"Who said?"

"Said what?"

"That you were a normal kid?"

"Me." I think that he could tell that I wasn't trying to be a wise-ass, but really didn't know what he was talking about. He didn't yell at me, so maybe he felt bad for me.

"Who else, though?"

"No one."

"What about your parents?"

"Ummm . . . "

"Did they say that you couldn't come to school here?"

"No."

"Then why aren't you enrolled?"

"This is a ninja school." I said it slowly as if this nice man were confused about something obvious to me.

"And you don't belong here?" he said this last bit with resignation, knowing that he had another problem to deal with on his first day.

"Because I'm not a ninja-kid."

He shook his head and mumbled "Great, just great. Apparently they missed you, huh?" He actually spoke now, "OK, then let's take you to the office. We'll have to find your parents." He started walking and I just followed behind him. I wasn't in trouble, but I had confused this poor guy.

He brought me down the stairs to a main office where he told me to "Sit and stay put." And then left

I was a kid, and sitting still wasn't really a part of my life. Instead of doing anything naughty, I started playing with my kunai. I tossed it at the ceiling, figuring that a few little holes wouldn't matter. I didn't toss it hard, so each time my kunai came back to me. I'd gotten through to ninety-six when I heard the door open again and someone yell, "What is he doing with that kunai? New students can't have weapons until after they've been examined!"

Apparently I'd done something wrong, as when I turned around there was a red-faced man along with that nice guy with the funny little ponytail and scar.

The angry man looked at Iruka as if accusing him of something. "You let him keep weapons on his person?"

Iruka shook his head, "I had no idea that she had anything on her." He stressed the she as if trying to prevent the red-man from making a huge mistake.

"Great." He grabbed the kunai from my hand before I could even protest. He looked at me again, "Anything else that you need to hand over?"

I was still confused and shook my head. Need to hand over what?

"I'm going to search you anyway," and he made a move to touch me. Now, living on the street doesn't mean that you don't like being touched, it just means that you're unfamiliar with it. Touching other kids is one thing, but having a full-grown man try to touch you in a tap search is just strange.

I screamed and ran to Iruka, who looked on in amusement. The red-faced man went even redder and mumbled something about "skittish girls."

Iruka turned me around and asked, "Did you take any more weapons with you today into the school?"

I nodded.

Iruke tried not to laugh, "Can I have them, please?"

I pulled out two more kunai, some senbon, and a shuriken, trying not to look too annoyed at having to give them up.

"These are mine," I said pronouncing each word carefully. I didn't want my stuff taken away. I didn't have more.

"I know. We'll give them back later," Iruka said in his best placating tone.

I tried my best to look stern to both Iruka and the red-man, "You will give them back today. They're mine."

The red-man wanted to protest, but Iruka answered before he could, "When you go home today, we can return your things."

I nodded, accepting the terms. These were two ninja. I couldn't fight them, but I might've been able to outrun them if I got to the town fast enough.

The red-faced man handed Iruka the kunai and took a seat.

"You'd better stick around, Iruka. This is gonna be difficult." The red faced man did not want to deal with me. His disgust with me and the situation was obvious.

"Yeah, I can tell." Iruka took a seat. "Don't you love first days?" he asked trying to lighten the situation.

The red-man, and obvious hard ass, didn't answer.

"So, Iruka here tells me that your parents haven't forbidden you to come, yet you're here anyway, without an invitation."

"Umm . . . yeah." I wasn't sure what he said, but I looked at Iruka who nodded his head in confirmation.

"So we missed you when we were registering kids, huh?"

Iruka nodded again, so I said, "Yes."

"Sometimes that happens. We don't always get everyone. We'll talk to your parents about it later."

I was very confused, but Iruka just nodded his head again, so I did too.

He took out a form, "We can't have you in class without their permission or the Hokage's, so you can't come to class today. You'll have to bring this to them and join with us tomorrow." He handed me the form.

"Join where? I don't understand."

The red-faced man looked at Iruka, ignoring me.

"You're going to be able to come to class and have the opportunity to be a ninja like the rest of the students," Iruka patiently explained, taking over for the red-man.

"Cool. Why can't I go today?" I was excited, thrilled to have the opportunity to spend time wth Neji and other kids.

"I just told you . . . " The red-man mumbled. Iruka ignored him.

"We need your parents to give their permission in order for you to go to class here." Iruka really did have the patience of a teacher. He was born for that job.

"That's gonna be hard," I told Iruka without offering any further explanation. They were being foolish.

"Why?" Both of them asked me. The red-faced man was suspicious and Iruka looked mildly concerned.

"I don't know where my parents are."

The red-faced man looked relieved, "That's fine. We'll get your guardian's permission."

"What's that?" These men kept saying things that made no sense.

Iruka answered again, "The one who takes care of you."

"Who takes care of me?" I asked confused and annoyed. I took care of myself. That they implied that someone else could was a bit upsetting for a kid.

"Your guardian!" the red-faced man yelled, causing me to instinctly recoil. I would have run out of the door if Iruka had not been so gentle with me.

Iruka was the one who more calmly explained, "Isn't there someone who buys you clothes? Someone who you stay with?"

"Who buys me clothes? Who do I stay with? Is there someone I'm supposed to stay with?" I looked between them, extremely confused. If someone were supposed to be buying me things, then I wanted those things. A safe place to stay sounded great too.

Iruka looked like he understood, but the red-faced man was as confused as me.

"One minute, please. Just wait a moment," Iruka said holding up a finger. Iruka grabbed the red-faced man and dragged him outside the room before shutting the door. I could hear their voices mumbling for a minute before they came back in, both looking stressed, but no longer confused.

"Ok, little girl," the red-man began, "you're going to go to see the Hokage and then you can come here, OK?"

I nodded, answering with a simple, "Yes." I wanted to come here. I wanted to be a ninja like Neji.

"Iruka," the man barked, "You take her."

Iruka nodded, seeming as though his attitude actually improved further with whatever they figured out.

Iruka held out his hand. I wasn't sure what he wanted, but figured it would be nice to follow him anyway. His hand dropped quickly. "What's your name?" he began.

I followed him out the door and into the hallway without answering. I wasn't sure what to say. They'd called me whatever they felt like, 'girl,' 'boy,' and lots of not so nice things.

I knew that people had names. I wasn't stupid, I just didn't know what mine was supposed to be.

"How do people know their names?"

Iruka didn't break his stride, "Usually their parents call them by their name, or someone close to them. Do you remember your parents or someone close you to you ever calling you something?"

"Sure, lots of people call me 'girl' or 'boy.' "

"What about friends, did your friends ever call you anything?" Poor guy was grasping at straws here, but he knew that they'd need to call me something. I'd never really had friends. People didn't particularly like their kids spending too much time with some strange, dirty creature, especially one that liked pointy things.

I was trying to please the nice man, so I thought of Neji. I'd spent more time around him than anyone else in four years. I knew him, even if he didn't know me.

"Tien-Tien. A boy called me that once."

"Tenten?" Iruka looks skeptical. "Nothing else?"

"I know that I must have parents, sensei. I'm not stupid, but I just don't know who they were." I use the past tense, hoping that they were long gone and that they didn't just abandon me. "I've been alone as long as I can remember."

"We'll fix that. It'll be fine now." He seemed determined.

"I was fine before," I said defensively. I might not have been clean, but I took care of myself. I survived very happily, enjoying the things that I had.

"It'll be better now," Iruka said as if promising.

I tried not to be skeptical, really tried, but having a nice man promise anything is still strange.

We walked in silence the rest of the way to the Hokage tower. Two men greeted Iruka by name and he smiled in return. He obviously had no trouble with friends.

We waited outside for only about ten minutes before I was ushered in to meet a man that I'd only heard whispered about on the streets. He didn't seem that impressive to me.

He had a nice office, but it was old, just like him. He had a funny hat on, but it didn't hide his face. He had a huge nose and I had to try not to stare at it. I tried to look at his eyes, but they were really old, and they made me feel sad.

"So, Iruka, who's this?"

Iruka sat closer to the Hokage. I took the farther seat, hoping that he wouldn't stare at me too much. His robe was really white and I was really brown; it could easily be soiled by my presence.

"This is . . . well, we're not sure. We were sort of hoping that you might know. She's been on the streets it seems. She doesn't know who here parents were and . . ." Iruka seemed embarrassed now, as he stared at me then at the Hokage. He whispered, "She's not sure what her name is."

The Hokage smiled at me and I felt a bit less inclined to stare at his nose. He was ugly, but looked better when he smiled.

"So, what do you know about yourself little girl?" I wasn't sure what he wanted to know, but I figured that I could tell him.

"I like to eat, sleep, and I really like to throw kunai and senbon and shuriken are pretty cool too. And I like to run. And I like spinning . . . in the rain . . . "I trailed off at the end because they were both staring at me and Iruka had his head in his hand.

"That's nice," the old man said trying not to give away his awkwardness. "What about where you sleep?"

"Wherever I want," I answered as if the man were stupid. He was supposed to be important, but he wanted to know where I slept, something incredibly obvious.

"Never in an orphanage?" he asked trying to dig into my past.

"What's that?" I questioned the unfamiliar word.

"A place for kids like yourself without parents."

"No, I sleep where ever I want. I really like trees, especially if they're where I throw my kunai."

"Oh my word," the Hokage said leaning back in his chair with obvious shock on his face, "I guessed we missed this one, huh?"

"How'd she learn to speak? Even act appropriately?" Iruka was staring at me again.

"I can speak well!" I said trying to defend myself. I even tried to use proper grammar, but he was insulting me! "And I behave almost always!" I couldn't claim to always act well, as I had stolen all of my good weapons and sometimes lied to people.

"Yes, yes you do," Iruka agreed and I was quite smug. Verification of my individual successes was always welcome.

The Hokage was staring me down, so I looked out the window. He made me uncomfortable and I had no desire to have a staring contest with him. He was old, weird, and condescending.

"I don't think that there's any jutsus on her, she just seems to be a kid that no one realized was completely alone. We're lucky that we haven't had trouble with her before. I don't think that she's native to this village. She looks different from the indigenous populace." The Hokage was characterizing me to Iruka, but I wasn't interested.

I was pretending not to listen now. I didn't like it when people discussed me like I couldn't hear.

"Maybe she'll be all right if we properly socialize her now," Iruka was saying. Iruka paused for a moment before mentioning someone else. "There's the other . . . person that we know who has been living on his own for years. He's been all right. She should be too." Iruka didn't sound too fond of this guy.

"He's a unique case . . . no one really wants him in their home. This little girl should be fine." I didn't know who they were talking about, but the poor kid had it rough.

"She won't like being controlled, especially since she is so defensive and has always been on her own. That's pretty obvious. Just set her up in the same way that you have him. She'll be fine. No one's going to try to hurt her." Had they tried to hurt him? Who was this poor kid? I wanted to question the men, but figured that remaining silent was the only thing that was keeping the men from asking me to leave.

"That might be best," the Hokage agreed. Good, I didn't want to deal with people. I liked my life.

The Hokage looked at me again. "So what are we calling you?" he asked with a pretty nice smile. He was trying to make me feel comfortable.

"Tenten," Iruka answered for me.

"Just Tenten?" the Hokage asked with obvious skepticism.

"Apparently," Iruka said with a shrug.

"Hello, Tenten." The Hokage offered with a slight nod of his head, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You too, Hokage." I tried to smile as best I could, while returning a bow.

"We can get one of the female instructors to check in on her," Iruka offered as he stood up. He saw the introductions as a dismissal.

"That sounds good," the Hokage agreed. "I'll try to have something set by the end of the day. In the meantime, don't you both have classes to attend?"

Iruka walked me back to the school, not offering his hand this time, but trying his best to be friendly and informative.

"You're what we call an orphan, Tenten. You don't have a family. We usually have special places for kids like you where people take care of them," Iruka was in lecture mode and I was an open mind. I was also inordinately quiet and polite as compared to his usual students.

"I didn't get that," I stated matter of factly.

"No, you didn't and that was an oversight on the part of Konoha." I didn't quite know what he said, but it wasn't my fault. That was good.

"So it's gonna be different now?"

"Yes, we'll look for a place for you and the Hokage will arrange for a monthly allowance." I hadn't understood the last word he said.

"I don't have money," I said trying to convey that I was fine on the street if I could attend the academy.

"We know. It's going to be from Konoha."

"Why?" I was confused to why money would be given to me. People sometimes gave me things, but rarely regular money.

"It'll go from the money that should have been relegated to you when you were born. You should also have been in a regular school until now. Everything should have been taken care of by the state." I followed what he said as best I could, but the whole concept was very foreign to me.

"So, then how am I paying for where I stay?" I tried to ask pragmatically. I could happily live on the street if he gave me money. That money would be better spent on food and weapons.

"You probably won't have to."

"Probably?" I had early on learned to question anything that was not an absolute, and even absolutes were untrustworthy from many people. Ninja were usually better, though.

"After funds that should have gone to you when you were alone run out, then the money will be given to you as a loan."

"So I have to pay it back." The idea of owing anything to anyone was very unappealing to a child with nothing.

"Probably," Iruka agreed.

"That's not good. I'll just do like I do now." I was fine on the street, and there I owed no one anything.

"No, you won't." Iruka refuted without even breaking his stride. He didn't sound angry, but rather stated his premise so that there was no room for argument.

"You can't tell me that." I didn't care if he thought that he was right; I figured that I had just as much experience in the world as he did.

"Yes, I can. I'm you're teacher." That didn't seem like an argument to me, but I wasn't really sure, so I couldn't disagree.

"I don't want to owe the school money."

"You won't owe the school, and you'll work off the costs if you become a ninja."

"What if I don't become a ninja?" The possibility of becoming a ninja had only just been created by Iruka, but I didn't want that future taken from me.

"Then you'll probably be forgotten and won't owe anyone anything. They'll put you in a regular school and you'll be put in with other kids like you."

"In the orphanage?"

"Yes."

"That's not good. I'll be a ninja, then."

"You'll have to work hard."

"That's easy. I'm already a master at the kunai and senbon. I'm gonna be great with the shuriken soon!" I promised rather arrogantly.

"That's good, but there's more to being a ninja than fighting with weapons."

"Really?"

"Yes . . . " and then Iruka went off on a lecture that was of very littler interest to a distractable child. I did listen, but didn't absorb much of what he said. I was mainly concerned with the fact that I had to be an awesome ninja so that I didn't have to live with a bunch of other kids without parents and go to normal school where there was no Neji.

"So, Iruka-sensei," I said disrupting his rant, "If I become like Tsunade-sama and strong in not just fighting, but also smart and powerful, then I get to be a ninja." I had been listening well enough to get the gist of what he meant.

"That's pretty close to how it all works, yes." He seemed surprised that I'd managed to sum up his rant in only a few words.

"Good. Then I'm going to be just like Tsunade-sama."

"That's a good goal." Iruka seemed pleased with whatever I had managed to glean from his little tirade.

We made it to Neji's classroom and I was excited that Neji and I would be together. Iruka didn't need to register the reason I was practically jumping up and down.

"You're going to have to work hard, Tenten. Nothing is going to happen overnight."

"Yes, sensei."

"And you'll need to make sure to behave as best you can all the time. I'll make allowances at first since I know that you've been alone a lot, but you're going to need to behave like the other students."

"OK, got it!" I agreed without caring what he was saying. I just wanted to get inside with the other students.

"Good, now just calm down, I can see how anxious you are." If only he knew what I really wanted.

We stepped into a classroom full of students all sitting not so quietly, with one white-haired guy teaching them all something that I didn't understand.

"I'm back, Miroku, I'll take it from here." Iruka was taking over the class.

"This will be your head instructor," the Miroku-guy was saying, "be sure to behave for him even better than you have for me."

I ignored their conversation and looked around the room. Most of the students were staring at the teacher, but one was staring right at me. It was of course Neji, and he looked shocked to see me. It was almost as if he were seeing a ghost. He hadn't shown anything but anger for two years, and here he was looking at me in shock. I couldn't help it, so I laughed.

The instructors stopped talking to stare at me and Iruka seemed to right himself.

"Sorry, Tenten. Everyone, this is your classmate, Tenten. She's joining us a little late today because we had some paperwork to take care of. Tenten, just sit wherever you want. I'm sure that we'll be changing things around when the year gets going and I figure out who can sit near whom anyway."

Neji was still staring at me and I thought about trying to sit near him. It would be funny to see him look like that all day, but I wanted to be able to concentrate.

I chose to sit near a really ugly kid with hair as long as mine on the other side of the classroom. No one was sitting near him, and I figured that less people would notice the dirt in my hair. Rain wasn't the only way that I bathed, but I knew that I was dirtier than anyone else here. This weird kid made me seem less odd.

Neji followed me with his eyes to my seat, but left me alone once I sat down.

He only looked at me again when Iruka called roll and said my name last, adding it to the list. Roll was also when I learned that my Hyuuga was called Neji. He wasn't just a boy anymore; he had a name, and it wasn't bad, even if it weren't as great as mine. I failed to think that he'd actually come up with my name first. He didn't need to know that. He probably didn't even remember me.

I did my best to pay attention that first day, but I was just like everyone else in the class: only a kid who didn't really want to listen to a lecture. Neji was the only one who seemed immune to our age. He actually answered Iruka's questions—all of them—and didn't even seem proud. He was above us and he knew it. I think that Iruka figured it out pretty quickly because after that he stopped asking questions. We all would wait for Neji to answer and that wasn't productive to a learning environment.

After our quick break, during which time I sat in the class watching Neji also sit and do nothing, we got to do practical stuff. This was when I got excited. I'd be able to show Neji just how great I was.

We went out to the practice area and Iruka displayed for everyone my three favorite weapons. Apparently they were the most commonly used, and he'd start everyone with kunai. He had all of the kids line up to practice. I was at the end among the 'T's' and Neji was at the front with the 'H's.'

I was so excited that I was literally jumping up and down. When Neji's turn came, he didn't even seem to care. He stepped up and took the kunai from Iruka and lobbed it at the target. His form wasn't good at all and his aim was off. It was a suitable strike, but not for someone I knew must have been practicing for four years. What was he doing?

Iruka didn't comment, but nodded. Neji had been by far the best so far, but Iruka didn't seem to care. He didn't seem surprised either. He wrote something down and finally spoke.

"That's suitable, Neji. You can be excused. You'll be able to pass the exam if you can do that again in four years."

Neji nodded and said "Hn." It was the moment that I'd been waiting for, but he just said "Hn." What the heck? He didn't even have to throw kunai? The situation was too anticlimactic for my child's heart.

Neji just walked back to the classroom after that. No one else seemed to care about what the 'genius kid' was doing, and continued with the training.

They finally reached the 'T's,' but my heart wasn't in the training any more. Neji didn't care, so why should I? I threw the kunai, and it hit the target perfectly. It even lodged inside and was dead center, but I knew that I could do better. I had been planning to split the target just to prove that I could, but with Neji's ambivalence, I didn't even care.

The other kids seemed suitably impressed, but Neji wasn't even there to see my triumph. I was better than him, and he didn't know. Worse, he probably didn't even care.

"That really was impressive Tenten. Can you do it again, please?" Iruka asked with with shock that I didn't register due to my distracted state.

I tossed another three without even looking. I knew where they'd go and I didn't need to see. With three quick successive 'thunks,' I'd done better on my first practical than anyone had in their final exam in years. Not since the prodigal Uchia had anyone seen what I could do.

The rest of the class clapped and Iruka was actually impressed. His praise fell on deaf ears. I nodded when appropriate, but slunk back to the end of the line, hoping that no one would ask me about my talent. I didn't want to talk about it.

Iruka didn't offer to excuse me from practicals with kunai, and I was grateful. I would've followed Neji and tried to find out what he'd actually been doing for four years. There was no way that those boxes had contained kunai. His talent wasn't anywhere near what I had assumed it to be.

The rest of class was a blur, and I didn't even bother to pay attention until I watched Neji leave at the end of the day. He walked home alone, directly toward the Hyuuga compound. While everyone else dwelled about, talking about the first day, he slank back home, avoiding everyone.

He really didn't care. My rivalry didn't actually exist. I wasn't sure what to do now.

"So, Tenten, you ready to go home?" a voice asked from behind me. Someone has snuck up on me as I watched Neji. It was Iruka and he wasn't actually asking.

I nodded.

"What's gotten in to you? Shouldn't you be thrilled? You did amazingly well on your first ever practical. You were great." Iruka was used to kids getting excited and talking about their accomplishments, but I was flat. From what he'd seen of my behavior, he assumed that I would be extremely emotional.

"Yeah," I said not really caring.

"You should be thrilled. This will bring you closer to being a ninja. Closer to matching Lady Tsunad-eee." He dragged out he last bit, almost as if baiting a dog or a little kid.

"Yeah," I answered blandly. Being like Lady Tsunade seemed insignificant compared to discovering my rival's lack of skill.

"I guess that you don't want your weapons, then?" Iruka tried as a final attempt to bring me back to myself. That snapped me out of my slump.

"Yeah, I do! Where are they?" I practically demanded, anxious for my few possessions to be returned.

Iruka took out my meager collection and handed me a perfect pouch along with them.

"This is for their proper storage. I'm not going to ask how you got these, since they typically come with a case, so just be grateful."

I didn't need him to tell me twice. I had them away before he even finished and was tossing the kunai while we walked. I'd missed my things.

"You're lucky that they're letting you keep those. You're not supposed to have your own to carry about until second year. Most of the ninja family kids of course do, but rules are in place for a reason. They don't want you hurting anyone or yourself."

"Four years. I've been doing this for four years," I reminded him without breaking the rhythmic catching.

"Yeah, that's what made them listen. You're . . . a special case." I didn't respond. We'd gone over this enough by now and I had weapons to interest me rather than him.

He walked me to a fairly clean building and brought me to the third floor. There wasn't anyone else here, but he didn't comment, so I didn't either.

"There'll be a female teacher by to check up on you probably once a week." He saw that I was about to protest and continued, "But this is mostly for the peace of mind of everyone else. It's obvious that you can care for yourself." He handed me a key. "Just don't cook until you're older. Stick with the fridge and the microwave. We don't want you burning down your new home."

He moved to extend his hand but seemed to think better of it. He just flicked his wrist in a gesture resembling a wave and left. I was alone and quite happy about it.

Life was suddenly really easy. Monday through Friday I woke up and got ready to go to class. I had to bathe every day now, but it wasn't too bad. I got to eat breakfast thanks to the allowance that they gave me, and at school they gave me food. I usually didn't bother with dinner but instead went out to practice. I used the money to buy more weapons and didn't tell Iruka-sensei. I couldn't get them from the shop, so I bought a used set of kunai and senbon off a random peddler. The shurikens came later then I managed to convince a guy to pretend to be my dad and buy it for me. I even managed to get a few exploding tags to play with, but those were more difficult and I was afraid that Iruka would freak if he found out. I kept those only long enough to get the basics before I tried to figure out something else to toss.

Class was easy. There wasn't anything really hard yet, and I didn't even need to work. We all goofed off in class and only Neji acted like a prune. He never showed up for the weapons practicals and never knew about my skills. He probably wouldn't have cared even if he did know.

I was the best in our class, except for Neji, of course. No one else even seemed to notice how well I did, since Neji was just so far ahead. Nothing any of us did could compare to him. He was like the stars and the rest of us were still trying to get to the moon. Poor Lee couldn't even make it past the ground.

I got along well with everyone, but I never really made friends. These people were all too different, most of them from ninja families or civilian families, and I wasn't sure where I fit in. Everyone seemed to like me since I wasn't arrogant about my skills, so I had a great time. Life was good.

Jutsu practicals came the second half of the school year, and I had to work harder than most of the kids. I didn't have the typical control of a girl because I had more chakra than them. I had less than a boy though, so I was screwed in both ways. Iruka commented that it made me unique and I told him that it made me annoyed.

Neji was of course a genius at these too, so he got another 'excused.' This time I paid extra attention.

"OK, Neji that was good. You'll be able to pass with that. Are you sure that you don't want to join the rest of your class?" Iruka was trying to be friendly.

"No," Neji answered rather simply.

Iruka nodded and continued on.

Apparently Neji wanted to be excused from weapons _and_ jutsus, but I had no idea why. When my turn came to perform the substitution, I performed better than most.

"That was good, Tenten," Iruka praised.

"Thanks, but why don't I get excused like Neji?" I tried to sound innocent and stupid. It sometimes worked with Iruka. He still sort of pitied me.

"I'll talk to you about it later, Tenten," he hurried me away probably hoping that I wouldn't cause a scene and get the other kids who'd done well riled up too.

As soon as class ended I was at Iruka's desk.

"So, why is Neji excused and I'm not? He gets excused from every weapon's practice _and_ every time that we learn a new jutsu just walks out as soon as he does it once."

"Neji is a Hyuuga, Tenten. Do you know what that means?" He wasn't trying to sound condescending, but it came out that way. He was perhaps a bit exasperated from having to explain near everything rather basic to me.

"Yeah, he gets to live in that big compound and gets to have really weird eyes, wear white robes and have long hair. Well, not all of the boys have long hair, but they all wear funky clothes and have weird eyes."

"The Hyuuga are more than that, Tenten. They're a clan. They have a special jutsu that only they can do."

"So they're selfish. Is what you're saying?" Being a Hyuuga sounded like just being arrogant to me. Neji certainly seemed that was to me and everyone else in the class.

"No, they are the only ones who can do it. It's in their blood, or well rather, their eyes." I'd seen Neji's weird white eyes, they were the same as the man that he was with when he was young, but that did not make him special.

"What's this to do with ninja training?" I asked with a bit of annoyance. I was not jealous of Neji, but frustrated that he was receiving special treatment when he was supposed to be competing with me.

"They don't feel as though they need weapons or regular jutsu training beyond absolute basics. Neji actually does more than most Hyuugas and performs better than almost all of them in near everything. He doesn't need to do even as much as he does."

"I don't get it."

"Neji's clan doesn't require him to even come to the academy to work for them. The Hokage requires that all ninja in the Leaf come here. The clan wants to stay here, so they make the concession to go to school here. In return, the Hokage doesn't force them to do more than what is absolutely necessary." Nothing about what he said made much sense to my child's sense of pride and equality. Politics were unknown to me.

"Neji's just getting a free ride!" I argued at the unfairness. "They all are!"

"No, I promise that they work hard at their jutsu. Neji's probably constantly training. He's learning everything on his own from the academy too, just so that he has more time for his family's jutsu."

My curiosity hadn't been placated, but I sensed that Iruka did not like all of my questions. I was still obsessed with Neji, and figured that asking too many questions might tip Iruka off, so I tried to turn the conversation away from Neji.

"It's still not fair, sensei. He has an entire family supporting him!" I knew that teachers pitied me for my lack of relations, Iruka especially. I used his sympathy against him.

"Maybe he does. We can't know that for sure, but life's not going to be fair, Tenten. Especially to you. You're going to have to learn that fast. You'll have to compensate." Iruka's absolute confidence in his words proved his personal experience.

The conversation was becoming too personal, so I decided to break it off.

"Thanks for the advice, sensei. I'll try to keep that in mind." I made a move toward the door.

"Of course, Tenten. And don't get discouraged. You're doing extremely well. You're second in everything in class and you're the best at all the practical work." Iruka tried to cheer me on, seeing my personal success as a sign of the ability of orphans and lesser people alike.

I nodded not really caring. I had a lot more new information about Neji that I needed to find a way to investigate.

I thanked Iruka and went back to my place, wondering how I could spy on Neji. I needed a way to see exactly what he was doing.

I skipped practice that day to sit on the roof outside of the Hyuuga compound. I hadn't been there in a while and suddenly realized that I'd grown. A lot. I was getting too big for sitting on buildings. People were going to notice me.

I watched several people go in and out through the gates, but no Neji. He would have been home from class long ago, so I knew that I was wasting my time. I figured that they had training grounds in the compound, and Neji would never need to leave. He probably had anything that he could ever want; yet he was so unhappy. No, he wasn't just unhappy, he was angry.

I stayed there when the first stars appeared and after when you could watch ninja leap across the rooftops on silent missions. I knew that I should go home before anyone noticed me, but I waited anyway.

Only in the dead of night did I finally see something worth my wait: Neji returned. He was alone and looked different with his hair in disarray and his clothes no longer perfectly in order. He would have balked at being seen like this. Perfect Neji was a mess, but no one else was here to see it. He didn't even wait for the guards and just snuck inside his home.

He was doing something, probably training on his own, and it was a secret. No one knew except me. I was determined to follow him and discover him, no matter what it took.

"Tenten. Tenten. Tenten!"

"Hai!" I said shooting my head up from my desk. I'd fallen asleep after last night's adventures and my teacher had obviously noticed.

"You know better," he chastised with affection and obvious shock at my behavior.

"Yes, sensei. Sorry. It won't happen again," the easy promise slipping from my mouth.

Iruka nodded his head and went back to teaching. I really should have been paying attention, but I was just too tired to care. Last night's excursion was too much for my young self. I didn't know how Neji managed to come home so late every night and function in class. He was inhuman.

I didn't fall asleep again, but didn't really pay attention either. I stared at my obsession. Neji was paying attention, or at least appearing to do so. He wasn't jittery or tired like the other students. He was regal in our class of commoners. He didn't look like he belonged and everyone knew it. There were empty seats to the right and to the left of him. He didn't have friends and seemed content. Well, Neji was never happy exactly, but he didn't seem particularly bothered by the lack of companionship. Others had tried to be friendly in the beginning, I'd watched, but he had essentially rejected them. Everyone left him alone now.

His back was rigid, as were his shoulders and arms. He only shifted in his seat once for the five times the rest of us felt the urge. He seemed old sitting there. He didn't take notes, but I figured that a genius didn't need to write down anything to remember it. He probably was brilliant enough to never forget a single fact that Iruka told the class.

I suddenly realized how strange it must look to have me staring at Neji and tried to focus on something else so that I could watch him without being too obvious. Iruka-sensei wouldn't have appreciated my little obsession.

Class finally ended and I was out of my seat before even Neji. I actually beat him outside just so that I could seem less suspicious. I was following him today and he didn't need to know.

He walked quickly, but not fast enough to make people think that he was running from something. He was just in a hurry. He headed toward the compound, but kept going right on past it. He went into the training grounds and even past those. He ended up inside of a clearing just at the edge of the forest. It was splintered with pieces of wood and broken trees. Someone had made it and had been using it for a while.

Neji first tossed his things to the ground and sat in the shade under a tree. I climbed up into a particularly tall one and sat watching him. He was meditating. An eight-year-old, well probably close to nine now, was meditating under a tree. Kids our age just didn't do that. We didn't have the concentration or the drive, yet here Neji sat, in complete silence, without moving for almost an hour. He was crazy, but it fascinated me.

His eyes opened as soon as he mumbled something. He was instantly awake from whatever state he'd put himself in and there was something wrong with his eyes. I climbed down a bit as silently as I could to get a closer look. I almost fell off the branch when I saw what was wrong. The veins around his eyes were _popping_ out of his head. I knew that he had a blood-limit, but this was just freaky looking. I was sort of frightened, but my interest in what Neji was doing to do kept me there.

He started sparing with no one at first, then started _attacking_ the trees. Neji looking like he was pissed off at a _tree_. I didn't think that he'd get anywhere against that foe, but eventually the tree _fell_. I couldn't believe it.He'd felled a tree with just his _hands_!

All of this was a bit much for my kid self, and I wanted to run away. I didn't, only because I was scared of him right then. _He'd killed a tree with his hands and was barely taller than me!_ I didn't know what he would do if he saw me climb down after watching him.

I ended up watching him all afternoon and into the night. He didn't destroy any more trees, but he did return to meditate, causing him to be too close to my tree for my comfort, and he did more of those crazy fighting moves. He did attack a few more trees after each meditation session, but he didn't kill any more. Thankfully he didn't see me either.

When he finally left I waited twenty minutes just to be sure that he really was gone. I did not want him coming back and seeing me here. I didn't want him seeing me at all. He was crazy and scary and always angry. This could not be a good combination.

I ran home and only left my bed when I thought that I'd be the last one to arrive at class. I didn't want to be anywhere near Neji and wanted as many people as possible between us when I arrived.

It was a normal day for everyone else in class, and I had no trouble staying awake. My heart was pounding too rapidly for sleep. When practical time came, I was thrilled. Neji left, and my heart finally returned to a semi-normal rhythm. My concentration was off, but Iruka-sensei didn't comment. He was probably busy with the other students, figuring that I was good enough to no longer need guidance.

I thought about sneaking away and going home early, but I figured that Iruka or (far more unlikely but infinitely worse) Neji might notice my absence. I just snuck home as soon as class was done. I waited until everyone had left and followed the last kid out the door. I wanted to be sure that my crazy interest was far, far away.

Two weeks passed and my interest in Neji had waned, but not really disappeared. A four-year obsession doesn't disappear overnight, no matter how much we want it to.

I'd calmed down enough by the second week that I decided to investigate what I could about his freaky-eye-thing. I'd look into his family. There had to be information on them somewhere.

I went to the school library first and didn't find much. There was a book with information on three types of eye blood-limits, but it wasn't hugely specific. I did learn that Neji would eventually be able to see 360 degrees around. I wasn't that impressed. It definitely didn't include up and down because I was pretty sure that he hadn't seen me just a few feet away up in a tree.

I also learned that Neji's scary attacks were part of Juken, a special type of Taijutsu that only Hyuugas with the Byakugan could use.

With a little bit of knowledge he wasn't so scary, even if he did look nuts when he was doing that freaky-eye-thing.

I decided that I'd have to get used to Neji, as I was going to watch him again. I was still curious about everything and especially about anything that made him better than me.

I spent the rest of the year watching Neji every Friday afternoon until night, when he would finally go home. He didn't do anything else that was as scary as the tree felling, but he still fascinated me, just not as much. I figured that I already found out about Neji as much as I could.

The rest of the time was my own. Neji wasn't the only one who still needed to practice.

My ninth year passed just like my eighth year, with just a couple new weapons thrown in from a shady street peddler. I was taller, cleaner, and smarter, except for my wild hair.

My hair had always been a part of me. It was a muddy brown, nothing special, but it was mine. I spent eight years owning nothing except my hair. I knew that it was beautiful, even if not everyone could see that. I'd been offered money for it twice when I was still on the street. It was long and perfect and would make great wigs. I refused, only because I was scared of the old women wielding shears. I also loved spinning and watching my fair flair about. It wasn't always clean and fresh, but it was always thick and luxurious.

My tenth year our new sensei commented that I should probably cut my hair. He was an old guy and I wondered if he retired and just taught at the academy to give kids like me a hard time.

"You're gonna wanna cut that, missy. No way it won't get in the way when you're throwing stuff down the line. It's too long for simple tie up. It'll come undone and you'll get someone using it against ya."

"I can handle it," I said trying not to yell at him. No one had ever dared to say anything about it before.

"I won't stop them girls or even the boys from yanking it when you're doing your taijutsu spars."

"I'll win, so it won't be a problem." I stared at the rest of the students as if daring them to try anything. I'd punched a kid out once for trying to pull my hair. This instructor hadn't been around them, but he should've known better.

"Someone bigger and meaner than you will yank it right off. You'll regret it. I'm telling you." He had that condescending tone that more knowledgable and experienced adults love to use. It never worked, so I wasn't sure why he was saying anything. I was annoyed though, and I didn't respect him as much as I respected Iruka, so I figured that I'd be a smart ass.

"You ever seen anyone have their hair ripped off?" I said with extreme skepticism.

He stopped for a moment, surprised by my logic. "Well no, but I'm sure that it's happened."

"I'll handle it," I promised emphatically.

I gave him a scathing look and ignored him for the rest of the year unless he had something really important to say.

My eleventh year we had a female sensei who politely mentioned that although my hair was lovely, it might get damaged during training.

"Tenten?"

"Yes, sensei?" I asked politely. I had far more respect for her.

"Don't you worry about your hair getting destroyed in practice?" she sounded sincere in her care, but I wasn't interested.

"No." I had this conversation before and wasn't looking forward to another rant.

"I'm thinking that it might get cut something awful if another student throws an erratic kunai. You'd never do that, but one of them could." She gestured to the other students. She was appealing to my arrogance, pride, and vanity, a perfect case of manipulation from a kunoichi that I would only appreciate years later.

I thought about her words for a moment and realized that she was right. The others didn't have as good of aim as me. Any one of them could destroy my years of growth with just a single throw. I tried not to think about the danger that I'd placed my hair in for years.

She was a very smart woman. She didn't question my adequacy or ability, but instead questioned the other students. It was a brilliant move, and perfectly timed. Only a week later a kid did almost take off my ear. He would've sliced through my thick hair like a knife through butter. It was Lee, and I would've hated him forever if he had managed to destroy my locks.

The next day I came to class with two perfectly formed (incredibly tight) buns on top of my head. No one commented, as no one recognized me. When roll was called and I raised my hand, our sensei gave me a nod of approval. I noticed Neji's scowl darken from his little empty corner of the room and tried not to laugh. Someone didn't approve. Everyone else instantly forgot that I ever wore my hair differently. Not four months later Lee asked what I looked like with my hair down.

My hair became my secret. No one would ever see it down again. No one would ever use it against me.

My twelfth year I illegally procured some hair pieces from a seller in the market.

"I want something strong. Something that can be used as a weapon," I told him in hushed tones in the back of his little stall.

The man stared at me. He did that up and down head motion that only guys seemed to be able to perfect.

"Aren't you a little young?" he asked sounding as though he had little actual interest in my age and was more interested in my reasoning.

"I'm older than I look. We can become full ninjas at twelve anyway." I gave him a counter observation, but not a true argument in favor of the sale.

"I'm not from this village, so I don't really care, but these things I'm gonna sell to you, they're really dangerous. Can you handle a weapon like this?" He had that crooked look that all peddler inevitable seem to have, and was probably only concerned with seeing if he could convince me to part with more of my heard earned coins.

"I started kunai at four. I mastered kunai and senbon by eight. Whatever you've got, it won't be problem," I promised as I crossed my arms and stood to my full height. He looked skeptical, so I turned around, showing him my back, and tossed a kunai straight through his hat, sticking it to the wall. I said nothing when I turned around, figuring that my stoic little face enhanced the effect. He did look somewhat humbled and mildly impressed as he stared after his hat, but not particularly inclined to sell them anyway.

"They're not just sharp, missy. They're deadly. One swipe and you could kill yourself. An accident with a kunai is nothing compared to these." He rummaged through the back, pulling out a pouch that he didn't open. He sat on the ground, waiting for me to sit across at the small slab that served as a table.

"I haven't cut myself with my own kunai. Ever. I've never not been careful." I reasoned that if I could manage to never hurt myself with something since age four, then my seriousness would be obviousl

"These belonged to a top lady. She wasn't a ninja, but she was someone important. The one who sold them to me said that she was the daimyo's wife. One of the wives, anyway." He opened the pouch and poured four perfect pins onto the table.

They were beautiful, so most definitely not my style. They were pink too, and I wasn't a fan of pink. Blue worked best for me. Or anything dark. Dark was easier to hide dirt on. They looked like ornaments, certainly not like weapons, just as they must have been intended. These pieces would force me to change my style. I couldn't just put them in and keep my boy clothes. Everyone would notice.

"Good, they'll do then," I said reaching for the first. It was light, and well balanced, almost like a senbon. It would be easy to learn to throw.

I extended my hand for the bag. He seemed reluctant to give it to me. I reached across the table and snatched it before he could think twice. I was a ninja, and he was only a civilian.

I placed the three on the table in the bag and held the final one before me. "They're as lethal as you say, for sure? How do you know?'' I asked with obvious skepticism. The pins were beautiful, but I could hardly imagine that they were deadly.

The man looked away, most definitely reluctant to answer this time. "Nothing that I'm proud of," he said trailing off. He hadn't liked testing his new merchandise.

"You didn't kill anyone, did you?" I asked pulling away from him completely horrified. I didn't want to deal with the police force due to this merchant's actions.

"No, just a dog. It wasn't any person, but it was still a gruesome sight. The dog . . . it didn't die nicely. Make sure not to use these on anyone that you want to die quietly," he politely warned after regaining his composure. He was obviously upset, something that was suprising from a peddler. These men were meant to be touch and emotionless.

I gave him the money and took the bag. "That won't be a problem. They're just a last resort." I was promising myself more than the man. No one was touching my hair. I would never allow it.

Three weeks later we graduated the academy. I knew who my teammates would be. No one needed to tell me; the two best would be with the dead last. When the announcement was made, Neji scoffed, not caring, and Lee jumped up and down. Apparently he thought of me as a friend; he was always a sweet kid.

We met Gai-sensei on the roof that day. He was perfectly on time and had a ridiculous smile.

"Yosh, my youthful students! I am so pleased to meet you all! Now you must tell me about yourselves! Likes, dislikes, and dreams!" The crazy man had stars in his eyes as he told us this. His enthusiasm infected Lee, but Neji and I were thankfully immune to an extent. I still gushed about my love for Lady Tsunade, just not to the extreme that Gai took the exercise.

Lee wanted to become a great ninja with only taijutsu. Neji scoffed at him and I wanted to pelt the prodigy with my shoe. Lee was a nice guy, and even if his dream was realistic, there was no reason to be openly cruel.

Neji was the one that I really wanted to hear. I still was watching him and trying to figure him out.

"I like training alone. I do not like those who do not accept their fates. My goal is to avenge my father."

Gai didn't look too pleased with his answer, but I'd learned more about Neji in those few seconds than in the years that I'd been watching him. He wanted to change the Hyuuga . . . even if I were not sure how exactly. And he was an arrogant bastard.

**XXxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**This is the longest story that I have ever written! And the only one that I've almost finished and then put up on fanfiction! I cannot actually finish until I know the ending of the manga, as I want to prevent the story from being too AU. So please review, if only so that I feel like it's worth the effort to post the rest of the story.**


	2. Adolescence

**Part 2: Adolescence**

"I will not go out to eat and waste valuable time when we could be training." Neji was complaining again and I had to restrain my laughter.

"Yosh. Neji, my youthful student, you must come. This is a team bonding session. You must be close with your teammates in order to better complete your missions. Ninji must not just be strong physically, but have strong bonds with their friends!" Gai flourished his final statement by adding a fist pump and tears in his eyes.

Lee quickly joined him, "Yes Gai-sensei! We must always be close to our teammates! We must stand strong together!" Lee had already bought into everything that Gai-sensei was saying after only one day of training. Lee worshipped anything from the mouth of Gai-sensei.

"Yes my precious student! You must allow your youth to shine through! Help your teammate to understand! You must be like a family!" Gai made a move to grab me and Neji, but we both stepped away.

Neji looked frustrated, like he always did, and I was already losing my patience too. One could only take so much yelling even from one's sensei.

"OK, Gai-sensei, Lee. We'll go to that barbeque place. We'll wait until seven though, as Neji wants to get some more training in before we go home for the evening. Good, right?" I said trying to compromise and find a diplomatic solution. I was stuck with two extreme—a stoic bastard and than overenthusiastic lunatic—so I was always trying to act as the peacekeeper.

Gai-sensei answered with something beginning with, "As usual our youthful flower . . ." and then I tuned him out. Neji really hated how Gai-sensei could always have the energy to talk about youth and strength. He was always praising us too, which Neji didn't seem to enjoy.

Neji and I followed behind Lee and Gai, refusing to run to keep up with Gai-sensei's youthful enthusiasm and Lee's newly found obsession with Gai-sensei. I wasn't sure whether I preferred the Lee of our academy days or the new Lee whom Gai-sensei had created.

Neji never complained about Lee and Gai, but he did get a stern look on his face and become obstinate. That was the closest that he came to open defiance. If Gai gave an actual order, then of course Neji would comply, but commanding us all to eat dinner together to "bond" was not quite the same.

We walked in silence, staring after our two green-clad teammates. I knew that Neji respected Gai-sensei, but I couldn't decide if he liked Lee or not. Neji wasn't mean to him exactly, but more discouraging. He scoffed at Lee's desire to be a great ninja, not criticizing Lee on most occasions, but more general statements.

"Tenten, we will practice at Training Ground 5. Lee and Gai will be using one on the east side of the village." Ground 5 was on the west side. Neji had this way of telling you something without actually saying it. I'm not sure if everyone could understand his language, but I caught on pretty quickly. Neji wanted to be as far from Gai and Lee as possible. He was hoping that Gai and Lee would tire themselves out before he had to join them for dinner. It wasn't impossible, but extremely unlikely. The youth of those two seemed in constant abundance.

"Sure, Neji." He also never really asked for anything, but I felt like I should make it clear that I thought of his statements as questions. He wasn't the only one on our team, and he certainly was not in charge, even if he forgot that most days.

Neji was at least not jealous of the attention that Gai showered on Lee. Neji sometimes actually seemed to enjoy it. Whenever he could get Gai and Lee to let him train on his own, he was thrilled. Well, I should say that he was thrilled by Neji standards. That meant that he issued fewer refusals/complaints.

I started tossing my kunai in the air while Neji appeared to ignore me. I had lots of kunai now since we started doing missions. They were all simple D-rank missions, much to Neji's chagrin, but he didn't actually have to do much. Gai and Lee's youthful exuberance spread into their work. They usually completed the simple tasks before Neji broke a sweat. Neji didn't seem to have any qualms about Lee "defeating" him when they were competing over paintbrushes.

Neji suddenly grabbed my kunai mid-fall.

"I don't like it when you do this."

"That's nice," I said grabbing out of his hand. I kept walking past him and continued my little game.

"This distracts you from the mission." He easily caught up to me and grabbed the kunai again.

I grabbed it back. "Nope, it doesn't."

I was probably the only one that understood Neji speak well enough to tolerate him. I don't know if anyone else even liked him in our age group. Neji was annoyed that I wasn't paying attention to our surroundings, and perhaps to him. He was a vain little creature and seemed to think that I should have more interest in him. He of course didn't know that I spent much of my time watching him. He probably would have enjoyed the attention if he found out now.

I took a few steps away from him; I wanted to distance myself beyond his reach. I tossed the kunai again, side-stepping him. I walked in circles around him, spinning as I went and continuing to toss the kunai. He tried his best to ignore me and continued walking. I watched him as I spun. I could see him actually straining his eyes. He wanted to watch me, but he forced himself to look forward. I could see the start of his Byakugan along the veins of his temples. He might be able to watch me if he chose. He just refused. I always played this game with him. See how far I could push him before Neji or I grew tired of it.

I'd never actually won. I always tired first. Neji couldn't be perturbed. He was a genius, after all.

By the time we made it to Training Ground 5 I was slightly dizzy and already tired. Neji was fresh and didn't even look my way.

He took his **Juken **stance and waited for me. This was already a well-practiced maneuver for him. Neji would wait for me to throw anything that I could at him.

Neji was working on a technique that he called Kaiten. He wouldn't tell me anything else about it, but I realized that neither Gai nor Lee were privy to this information. I was pretty sure that only I knew that he was trying to do it, especially since he had no friends.

"Ready Neji?"

He didn't actually respond anytime that I asked him for his assurances. He apparently always thought that he could handle me. I waited to make sure that his blood-limit was activated anyway. No normal person could see behind her head.

I tossed a few senbon first, but he turned around before they even got close and knocked them into oblivion. I hated it when he did that. I'd have to go find them later.

Neji wouldn't talk again until we were finished, and even then he _might_ help me find whatever he'd knocked away, if I could find a good way to ask him.

Before the senbon reached the ground I was in the trees surrounding the training ground. I knew that it didn't really make a difference, Neji could still see my chakra signature, but I figured that maybe the trees would confuse it a bit. And I felt safer in the trees.

Next was a hail of kunai covering a few shuriken.

The shuriken came close enough to his head that I almost stopped, but I remembered how pissed Neji always became when I held back.

He really was ridiculous as a training partner.

I continued essentially just throwing anything that I had at him, trying to force an opening in his defense as I ran around him, trying different angles.

I had never hit Neji, not once in all of our training sessions did I manage to even graze him.

I did notice that both of us were reacting faster. I was better at dodging whatever came flying back at me, and my weapons kept flying back at me faster than before. We were both improving, even if I weren't actually progressing. I wasn't sure if he were either, but he seemed to think so.

I was tired after about twenty-minutes of straight throwing, running, and dodging. He had to be too, but Neji would never admit it. I kept going for another ten minutes, nearly collapsing to the ground with the last throw and my announcement that, "I'm ready for a rest."

I had enough dignity to slouch down under a tree and just lean lightly against it. Neji was still standing, staring at me, before he walked calmly over to another area and sat down to meditate.

I knew that that jerk wasn't as tired as me. I'd watched him train for years. He was probably winded, but nowhere near me. He didn't have the stamina of Lee or Gai, but I couldn't fault him for that. He was incredibly good at not passing out when they kept us working for hours. I couldn't claim the same honor.

He didn't speak (or open his eyes), so I slumped down further, breathing deeply. Neji was hard to keep up with. No one in our class had ever compared to him. I'd never had to spar with him. He had of course been excused from taijutsu training, but that had probably been for the other students' safety more than his clan's tradition.

When my breathing regulated I called out to him, "Neji! You gonna make me do that thing where you kick my ass again?"

He didn't react to me at all. He didn't like it when I was crude and really hated when I refused to call his techniques by their proper names. '**Juken**,' he'd claim, 'was not "kicking my ass," but utilizing one's own chakra to disrupt another person's chakra network.' Whatever Neji told me that first day, I'd been freaked the hell out when he had touched me and I felt nauseous, and not in a good way. I hated it when he practiced on me, but I was his training partner and no one else even tolerated him. I probably wouldn't have given him the time of day either, if my childhood fascination with him hadn't kept me around.

Whatever kept me from leaving, it meant that Neji was always messing with me. He was always affecting my chakra system, and we both knew it. The bastard never really apologized, but chakra wielding had become more difficult for me. I wasn't down to Lee's standards, but I'd had one hell of a difficult time with tree climbing, and water walking was still beyond my ability. He hadn't offered to help with my newly developed problem, and seemed disinclined to care.

Weapon wielding didn't really require chakra and he only really needed a body to attack every once in a while. Trees were good for practice, but he needed to make sure that he could close chakra points in a human, not just a plant.

Neji finally opened his eyes and stood up, silently telling me to come join him. He stepped into an easy **Juken **stance, one that I recognized well, and I took the standard taijutsu pose that Gai had drilled into my head since the second day that we'd known him. I wasn't bad at taijutsu. Hell, I could probably kick the ass of anyone in our age group with no problem. I was working with a Hyuuga, Lee, and Gai-sensei. If I were on anyone else's team, I'd be the best. But, I also wouldn't have been so good without their guidance.

I never charged Neji, knowing that it was futile and always lead to my fast defeat. We'd been together for a year now, a new set of students was graduating the academy, and I was still watching Neji. I was better, but I was nowhere near him.

He took about four minutes before getting the first strike to my torso. I knew that he could have taken out the chakra allowing me to use my arms, but he'd already done that several times. He could do it, and then I was useless to him for several hours. We also couldn't leave or someone would notice something wrong with me, so he was careful not to do that anymore. I'm sure that if he felt he needed to practice again, he wouldn't even ask and would just destroy my chakra system for a while. He was a jerk, after all.

Present-perspective

The first strike hurts like hell. He knows what he's doing, but that doesn't stop it from making me want to collapse. That first strike is meant to kill. If he were facing anyone besides me at this point, he or she probably would have collapsed. I've gotten used to it, and I hated the look in Neji's eyes whenever I had to stop. He wasn't concerned, but annoyed.

It takes me a few seconds, but I'm back to blocking him as soon as I can breathe semi-normally. My style in taijutsu is not quite like Gai and Lee's. I would normally be wielding weapons, so I have quick strikes designed to kill, and to allow me an in. It doesn't work at all on Neji and all three of my teammates are aware of this. Only my quick feet and light twirls keep him from incapacitating me within the few moments after his first blow.

I'm exchanging blows with him, blocking his strikes, but he isn't even really trying. He knows that I've slowed down and is just working himself. He only goes all out until I've had that first hit. As soon as he managed that one strike, if he were pumping enough chakra into it, the fight would be over and his opponent dead. Maybe I'm lucky that Neji does have such good chakra control, but if only he'd help me with this chakra problem that the bastard has created.

We continue for another hour before Neji signals that he's had enough. He hits me once again in the chest, not nearly as hard, but it would have been a kill too. He's finished for now and returns to his tree.

I also plopped down to rest. My chest hurt like hell and we both knew that my chakra would be messed up until tomorrow. I thought about trying to chakra climb my tree, but I was too tired and too scared. I didn't want to know if Neji had taken that from me for the day. The bastard did enough without regret. He'd probably just think that I was weak if I fell in front of him.

I was watching him, and thought about how utterly ridiculous he looked. To anyone else he would look regal, and I'm sure that he once did to me, but all I see is a little boy trying too hard to grow up. His hair is ridiculously long and I've managed to mess it up, but only I can probably tell. My hair at least hasn't come out of my buns and is still clean. He is covered in sweat, but his robe manages to hide it well. Neji has always been good at hiding his weaknesses.

"Neji," I started, "why don't you ask Gai-sensei for help if you want to get whatever you're trying to perfect right. I'm sure that he'll happily help you." I'm thinking about his Kaiten and how we have been working on it for a year, but still hasn't been able to execute a perfect one yet.

He ignored more, just like he always did. Maybe he didn't even actually know what I was saying.

"Neji," I said harder in an attempt to force him to pay attention to me. He continued to pretend that I didn't exist and I wondered again why I actually bothered. I'd had this conversation with him probably twenty times already. The bastard always refused to respond. Whenever Neji didn't answer, it simply meant that there was no discussion. Unless he really wanted to tell me something, he wouldn't be talking to me.

I closed my eyes and waited until Neji stood up again, waiting to see what he wanted to do next. There was a soft shuffling sound and Neji was walking way.

"Hey! Gai and Lee are going to search for you if you just disappear!" I tried to tell him.

Neji for once deigned to answer. "They'll tire themselves out today and by the time that they remember dinner I will be back inside the compound." None of us went inside of Neji's house. We had never been invited and even Lee seemed to understand the lack of an invitation.

Neji didn't stop walking and I followed him home. It was more habit from childhood than a teammate caring about a partner. Now I at least didn't need to hide in trees. He knew that I would walk him home, just as surely as he knew that I would practice with him tomorrow. I was like that dog that always returns to its asshole of a master. I always returned to Neji, always was watching him, even if I didn't have a reason.

I tossed my kunai again, not because I actually was bored and wanted something to do, but more due to the annoyance I knew it was to Neji.

I went back to join Lee and Gai-sensei even though Neji was no longer with me. Both were too distracted by Lee's newest training to notice the absence of our silent teammate. I never told Neji what I saw when I watched Lee, but I'm not sure that he would have care. Lee was pretty amazing, but Neji wasn't going to see that. All he ever saw was power, and to him Lee would never achieve it. Hell, I wouldn't either. That's why I was just a disposable dummy. He'd replace me with someone tougher and rougher if he could. I was just the only option that he had.

The next day Gai-sensei showed up at our team meeting place almost on time. He was usually an hour or many early to our meetings. He was apparently competing with someone that we never met to be "coolly aloof." Neji didn't care and always showed up only on time. Lee would show up whenever Gai-sensei arrived, which wasn't too strange since Lee seemed to 'sense' where Gai-sensei would appear, and I tried to show up at least a few minutes early so that I could calm both of them down before Neji arrived. The one time that I had shown up after Neji had been a disaster. Lee had spent the entire day challenging Neji and Neji had handled it well until Lee said that he'd spar with me instead. Neji got strangely possessive after that and was even colder toward Lee. And he'd almost knocked Lee in the chest, but thankfully Gai had prevented any serious disasters.

"My beautiful student," Gai-sensei began. I knew that he was about to give a speech, as he always did when he had some news to share. We usually were just subject to these tirades whenever we could manage C-rank missions, but I could tell that this would be a particularly long speech.

Neji actually looked pleased, so I figured that he knew what was happening.

"I finally see that your youthful vigor has allowed you to reach new potential as protectors of the Hidden Leaf! Soon you will have the opportunity to show the rest of the village how strong you have grown as a youthful team and as youthful students. There will be an examination of your youthful growth soon and as your youthful and beautiful sensei, I want to help each of you prepare for your newest challenge."

Lee had sparkles in his eyes as he stared at Gai-sensei. "You're so amazing Gai-sensei! You want us to succeed so badly Gai-sensei!" He was actually clutching his hands together and staring at Gai in adoration.

Neji was staring at something behind Gai, probably trying to avoid looking at the gushing mess that was about to commence.

"I have nominated all three of you for the Chunin Exam, and my youthful flowers, you will all have the chance to bloom!" And cue the waterworks from both Gai and Lee. I just looked away, knowing that this was going to take a while to calm down.

Neji was actually looking at me for once and seemed to have a pleased look on his face. I knew him well enough to tell.

"So you're happy then, Neji." I said in response to his self-satisfied smirk.

He surprisingly responded with a, "Hn."

"Great, so you're ready then. You don't need to practice any more?" I wanted to see him react. I figured that it would be entertaining. He hated when I offered to give him Lee or Gai-sensei as partners.

The patented 'Neji is pissed off look' instantly wiped the slight grin from his eyes.

"Jeesum, Neji, I can see how much the idea upsets you. I'll still spar with you. I was only teasing you." I was half serious, though. I wanted some time alone. I hadn't been able to develop any new jutsus and while Neji and Lee really were progressing at extraordinary rates, I knew that I was only above the new academy genin in experience, taijutsu, and weapons. There wasn't much else that I could do, especially in ninjutsu. I knew that I wouldn't make chunin without some sudden serious improvement. Neji didn't need to know my thoughts, and Lee and Gai-sensei would only have been disappointed in my lack of 'youthful vigor and confidence.' They both had apparently not noticed my lack of progression and difficulties molding chakra.

'Gawd Neji you're such a selfish ass,' I mumbled to myself. I wondered if he heard because he did at least refuse to meet my gaze that afternoon. It might also just have been the fact that he too knew that I could not make chunin. Either way, he had the decency to silently acknowledge his own fault; perhaps he could feel shame

A few months later Neji had nearly perfected his Kaiten and Lee was up to five gates. I watched both of them progress and finally thought that their match would be incredibly interesting to see. Neji was a genius, but even he couldn't match the power that Lee could call upon. Of course, neither knew what the other was up to, and Gai was too preoccupied with preparing Lee to notice whatever Neji managed to do.

At least on Neji the ass's behalf, two days before the exam was scheduled to begin he finally stopped attaching my chakra coils.

I was breathing heavily and felt-light headed. We'd been working extra hard since Neji found out that he would be competing against some other genius kids. I didn't particularly care whom we fought, as long as we survived.

Neji was at last backing off when I slumped to the ground. He'd hit me harder than usual and we both knew that I wasn't going to recover before this afternoon was finished. Neji would have to wait before trying anything else.

"Tenten."

"What?" I asked trying not to bark. He could at least talk when I wanted to, not when I was gasping for breath.

"I will stop attacking your chakra points after today. Tomorrow we will practice and the day after we will rest." He told me this as an order, as a superior, not as a teammate.

"That's great Neji . . . really great." I needed to breath damn him. He was standing close still, and hadn't yet returned to his tree. He was staring at me completely calm and without emotion. He didn't care at all that I was tired and worn from the afternoon's practice.

"What else do you want?" I grumbled after a few more breathes and his continued stare.

"We're not finished yet today," and only then did he go sit down out of the sun.

I plopped down in the middle of the training ground, not particularly caring that I was going to be in the sun. I wasn't a vain girl. I didn't need white skin. A little brown would prevent a burn later.

I stared at the sky, wondering what it would be like to have a normal teammate. I tried not to think how my life would be different if I hadn't met Neji. I wouldn't have been a ninja then, so I at least owed him for that. He had been the reason that I'd first picked up a weapon and first gone to the academy. He of course had no idea and I had no intention of telling him. He was smug enough without my input.

I dozed and only awoke when Neji was nudging me with his foot. He didn't even have the decency to tap me like a normal friend would do.

"What, Neji?" I said without too much grump. I at least had my voice back after the afternoon nap.

"I want to finish for today so that we may each return to our respective houses." I realized that the sun was starting to fall behind the trees and I wondered how long I'd slept. I was surprised that Neji had been patient enough to let me nap for such a long time.

"What do you want to do?"

"We will fight."

"And? There's an 'and' here Neji. You're going to do something." I knew him well and the way that he punctuated his sentence meant that there was something unpleasant awaiting me.

"It just lasts for the day Tenten and tomorrow you won't have any interference in your system." He spoke to me like a child. It was like he was promising me a shot wouldn't hurt tomorrow, but without the promise of any personal benefit. He had no idea that he was asking something intrusive and cruel. He knew that causing pain was not something that a person generally did to a friend, but he did not understand that he was aksing something that was exceedingly wrong morally.

"Fine, Neji. You can cut off the chakra to my arms, but don't fucking think that this is ever happening again. You try it again, and you can find yourself a new partner." I wasn't idly threatening him. I really hated having no chakra in my arms. Not only did it hurt, but it caused major problems with my weapons. If he completely shut down my chakra, I couldn't even move them. It sounded like he wanted to try it today. I hated it, and he knew it.

He didn't react to the treat though, and just took his stance. I fell into my taijutsu stance, more winded than he and still tired after just waking up.

He struck first, like always, and I managed to block him the whole time. I knew what he was doing, though. He was shutting down my system even as I stopped his strikes. In a real match I'd be saving my chest, but at the cost of my arms. Either way I was screwed.

He only stopped when my react time was practically quadrupled. He knew that my arm movements would only get slower for the next hour.

He walked away, ready to return home, not apologizing or saying anything. I didn't follow him for once, and I wondered if he even noticed. He was out of earshot when I finally told him, "Gawd, Neji. You know that I sort-of hate you?" I don't know why I could never say that to his face, and wondered if he would even care.

I went home and didn't go to practice the next day. I sent a message to Lee and Gai-sensei saying that I needed the extra day to rest. Both had agreed it necessary, although I'm sure that the two of them worked all afternoon. I didn't ask what Neji had done when he had shown up to see that I wasn't there, but hoped that he had an earful of 'youth.' My arms were purple and sore all day and when my kunai flew an entire centimeter off from the center of my target, I knew that I would never let Neji do that to me again. If he ever tried then I'd either kill him right then, or later. No one had the right to mess with me like that. Especially someone who was supposed to be a teammate.

The day of the exam I showed up a few minutes late, allowing Neji a few precious moments alone with Lee. I didn't know until I arrived that Neji had actually shown up early and had spent the last half-hour ignoring Lee. I hugged Lee in a brotherly way, dragging him into the room, not bothering to even make eye contact with Neji. Lee didn't know what he'd done to make me happy, but he seemed thrilled to have pleased me. I was just thankful to have one teammate who cared about me.

I didn't speak to Neji again until we were in the forest and Lee had managed to get himself almost killed. Neji was pissed, as usual, but I tried to be calmer. Lee was always too emotional and spirited for his own good, but Neji didn't _need_ to be an ass when Lee had helped Naruto's team. I was upset that Lee had risked himself, though. Sakura was just a selfish little girl.

I didn't speak to him all through the matches, even after my unspectacular loss. I wasn't sure if Neji watched everything, but I didn't really care. I was screwed as soon as she was shown to be a long-range fighter. Weapons can be short, mid, or long, but they're really no use against someone with affinity chakra. I learned this pretty early from Gai-sensei. Most genin though don't have that capability, so I really didn't expect any problems. I might have stood a chance if my chakra weren't messed up and I were capable of any good ninjutsu, but I wasn't. I was screwed.

Lee visited me in the infirmary, even when he was so excited for his own match. Neji had stayed above. I missed his match against his little cousin, and I was thrilled. Apparently he nearly killed her. I watched them carry her in, and I was pissed. She was purple everywhere. I finally recognized what he had done with me- he'd used me as a test dummy for his little cousin. He was probably even pretending that I was she. I knew how much he resented the main branch of the clan, but that was just too much. He was out of control and I secretly wanted to hurt him.

Hinata didn't even stay with the rest of us in the infirmary, but was whisked off to the hospital. She nearly died and Neji's first kill would have been his younger cousin. There was something really wrong with him and I wanted to convince myself to stay away, if only I could.

Lee was finally rolled in when all the matches were finished and I noticed that Neji didn't even accompany him. A tearful Gai-sensei barely spared me a glance before Lee was rushed to the hospital too. Neji was still absent.

Two days later I went to the hospital myself to see what kind of damage Neji had managed.

"Hi!" I smiled at the overly pink nurse. "I'm here to see my friend, Hinata, and my teammate, Lee."

She gave me a look as if sizing me up to make sure that I was being truthful.

"You're a ninja?" Apparently I was lacking in her estimation.

"Yes." I tried to retain my polite attitude, but she was really straining me. I never liked being misjudged, a product of my difficult youth.

"You don't look like one," she said with obvious skepticism. I wondered how many ninja she had actually spoken with to have her act in such a rude manner. Not all were as forgiving as me and several that I'd seen might have threatened her for just looking at them.

"Well, what do we typical look like?" I said in a sweet tone, promising myself not to fall to her level.

"Slutty or demonic." She said that too casually not to have thought a lot about it. "Sometimes both. You look like . . . I don't know. You don't look dangerous, mean, or have that slutty girl thing"

This was going to be hugely fun. I could tell.

"This is my Hidden Leaf forehead protector. See it?" I held it up in her face trying not to hit her. "I'm a ninja. And that means that I get to see my friends." I refrained from threatening her, but only just barely. I was pissed. The jerk had beat on my self-esteem enough. I didn't need a nurse doing it too. "Please just take me to see Hinata, then?"

"No," she said returning to her paper punching and pretending to forget about me.

I was annoyed and rarely lost my temper with anyone who was not Lee or Gai, but this woman was being very mean. "Why the hell not?" She stared at me then as if I done something evil like kill a puppy, forcing me to mumble an apology.

"Hinata is in intensive care. She will hopefully be released this month, but we don't want visitors for at least a week who are not close friends or family," she finally saw fit to answer.

I really didn't want to lie, but I wanted to see what kind of damage he'd managed. I needed to see Hinata.

"I'm her cousin's teammate and . . . girlfriend." The last bit was obvious bullshit, but she didn't need to know that. I thought of the word only as I was saying my argument. The word slipped from my mouth, and I fought to not cringe at the idea of being permenantly tied to the prodigy.

"You're a _close_ friend, then?" she asked again with that same skepticism, still obviously believing that I did not belong in the hospital.

"Yes," I answered without any hint of the discomfort that I was feeling.

"Fine. Room 322. And your teammate is in room 123." I didn't ask how she remembered that Lee was my teammate when we hadn't talked about him at all. Apparently nurses in Konoha had inexplicable ability to remember ninja.

I tried not to be rude, but it was extremely difficult. I waited for her to turn around before making a face to show my dislike for the woman. It was immature, but gave me some satisfaction.

I went to Hinata's room first, but didn't actually go inside. I could see the damage well enough from the doorway. Two of her teammates were there, but apparently the** Inuzuka **had cried too much because he didn't act as though he could smell me.

The scent of blood filled the air and Hinata was a purple mess; Neji had definitely almost killed her. I'd seen those familiar bruises many times before, and could easily empathize with the girl. I knew that to have survived and continued in a match with that kind of strain on her body showed extreme control. She was brave to continue in the match, but crazy too. She was lucky to be alive.

The whole vendetta of the match was probably over some stupid Hyuuga thing. Neji hated his main branch family, but even I could see how his hatred was misplaced. We were thirteen, and he was nearly a murderer due to his fixation on a stupid tradition.

I'd met Hinata before. She was quiet and kind, but extremely shy. Neji had done some horrible shit to me, but this was insane. No one should try to kill his family. He had apparently needed to be stopped by the judges. There was something wrong with him. Something flipped wrong in his brain. Someone had messed him up from that cute and quiet little boy that I had seen.

I left as quietly as I could and stayed with Lee, who spent almost the entire time asleep. He had almost killed himself too when he had opened those gates, but even worse than almost dying was the damage to his leg. Gai-sensei told me that Lee might never be a ninja again. I was never one to doubt Lee after watching his progress, but when I saw the way his leg was wrapped, I even doubted him.

Gai-sensei had dropped off some flowers to no doubt improve Lee's springtime of youth, but I didn't see any signs of Neji's presence. The one teammate who had escaped unharmed had failed to visit both of his partners. I shouldn't have been surprised, and I really wasn't, but I couldn't help the disappointment. Neji was an ass though, and I needed to accept this.

I spent and hour with Lee, sometimes talking to him and sometimes just sitting. Lee woke up for a moment to say something about squirrels, but was quickly back to sleep. I decided to visit later, as often as I could until the finals. I wasn't sure if I were going to the matches, but Lee would be the only person that I would accompany. I was too furious with my other teammate to bother cheering him on.

Three days later I finally received a message from Neji.

"You must be healed by now. It is time to train. You need to improve."

What he really meant to say was, "I've been patiently waiting for you to get well, and I know by now that you must be. I'm sorry that I haven't come to visit you yet, but I've been busy training. My match is in only one month, and I have yet to finish my Kaiten. You're the only person willing to tolerate me in this world since I tried to kill my cousin, so would you please come train with me? I really do need your help. I know that you didn't do well in your match, but you can improve. I'll help you while you help me. Sincerely, and your friend, Neji."

So he didn't actually mean all of those things, but he was asking for my help in his training. He didn't care two wicks about my abilities unless they were helping him.

I spent two days ignoring the message from Neji when Gai-sensei found me. I was visiting a much better Lee when sensei pulled me aside to talk. He was strangely serious and I found it disconcerting.

"Tenten, how is Neji faring with his training? I have been absent for both you and Neji since . . . " and his eyes watered so I had to turn away. I could stand his tears of encouragement or pride, but not in this situation.

"We understand, Gai-sensei," I said trying to avoid staring at the jonin about to cry.

"So you're helping Neji train still?" He was giving me a hard look, so I knew that he already had the answer.

I took a deep breath, "Not yet sensei."

"Don't stop your training due to Lee or my absence. You must allow your youth to blossom, not wither," he was almost back to himself, as he gave a fist pump to punctuate his statement. He immediately returned to his serious self though, remembering the point of this conversation. "And Neji really needs this for his match," he said in one of his few moments of sanity.

"I'm sure that he's confident that he can win," I said with more than a bit of resentment. Neji thought that he could do anything, and probably did not consider my presence to be an integral part of his training. Even if Gai-sensei was telling me that Neji needed me, I still did not want to go. I had not forgiven Neji for what he had done to me, never mind what he had done to Hinata.

"He won't win," Gai-sensei promised me with a shake of his head. Gai-sensei was rarely wrong when he made serious statements, but I still felt skeptical.

"The Hyuuga genius can't beat the dead last from a year under him?" The idea of Neji losing was laughable. Naruto was a nice enough guy, but he was weak, while Neji was insanely strong.

"No, Neji will definitely lose the match, but he can maybe find himself." Gai told me in that weird way that conveyed his knowledge. He knew something that I didn't, and this something was going to determine Neji's match.

"I don't understand, sensei."

"None of us really do, but my rival . . . Kakashi, he thinks that Naruto can do it. Naruto might be able to get through to Neji. Even where you have failed, Tenten, maybe Naruto can succeed." So Gai really had known about my attempts to make Neji a human. Gai believed that Naruto could do something that I could not.

"I don't really understand, sensei," and I really didn't. This whole conversation reminded me of when I fist went to the academy. I didn't have a clue what the big adults were talking about. In the end though, I sort of had to believe and trust in them. "But I trust you Gai-sensei. If you want me to train with Neji, then I will."

He nodded his head. "And help him perfect that Kaiten. Neji's going to need it, and I think that having his perfect defense broken might help teach him a lesson." Gai smiled at me without the creepy shiney teeth, proving that he wasn't as demented as we were often led to believe. Gai-sensei was always smarter than he looked. I didn't even question how he knew about the Kaiten and instead just nodded. I'd help Neji with that technique, but nothing else. I wasn't letting him get near me again. He wasn't touching me for the rest of our time together if I could help it.

"He can be saved, Tenten. Just wait. Don't give up on him yet," Gai promised me as he held onto my shoulders and looked into my eyes. I didn't answer, but gave Gai-sensei a quick pat before leaving. I wasn't very good at this emotional stuff; I had a training partner to find, after all.

Neji didn't say anything when I walked into his clearing. He hadn't been at our usual training grounds and I came here on the suspicion that Neji would train in the place where he had as a child, before he had me.

He sort of stared at me, but not really seeing me in a way that always was disconcerting. I was pretty sure that he never really saw Tenten, but just a tool that he could use. Perhaps he thought that one of his favorite tools had been lost, as he almost looked pleased.

"You surprised that I'm here, Neji?" I asked trying to sound more chipper than I felt.

He of course responded with a "Hn," which was the only response that didn't make him sound like an idiot.

He didn't ask how I knew where to find him of even why I was gone for so long. He just slipped into his usual Kaiten practice stance.

I heaved a heavy sigh and crouched down too. "You know Neji," I tried to explain, "this would be so much easier if you talked. Maybe I can help you figure out what you're doing wrong."

He never told me exactly what the Kaiten was supposed to look like, but I knew that something was missing. He was always blocking me, but not in the way that he wanted.

I threw a hail of senbon first and then hopped into a tree and threw more. A few shuriken later and I was hopping from tree to tree, throwing everything I had on my person. I was pissed at him and it actually felt good to let some of that anger out.

I was throwing harder and faster and Neji must have known it, but didn't say anything. I had more energy and felt better than I had in months thanks to my avoidance of the very person in front of me. One of my senbon actually grazed his ear and he was furious. His face didn't really change, but his body hardened and he was moving faster. I never hit him, and I felt like doing a little victory dance. I'd not only hurt, but _affected_ the prodigy. My glee was also amplified by how good I felt.

I had complete control of my chakra for the first time in months and I was enjoying it. I could move so much faster from branch to branch, and my feet were barely touching the limbs.

It was amazing and I felt so good. I wondered if Neji could see me, or if I'd disappeared like Lee seemed to do. I felt like I was barely touching each branch.

I had my answer when I finally caught him with a kunai to the shoulder. The wound was pretty bad, only because I was throwing so fast. Fast shots are hard to keep light, and Neji must have known that.

He actually hissed as he fell to the ground, clutching the shoulder. He had certainly never been hurt like this on any of our missions, and I briefly wondered if Neji had ever been hurt in his life.

I stopped immediately, dropping to the ground and walking toward him, wondering how he would react. He quickly seemed to overcome the pain and pulled out the kunai himself, attempting to stand on his own.

"That doesn't look good, Neji. You really do need to get it fixed," I warned him from a relatively safe distance away. His shoulder was bleeding pretty badly, and I knew that serious muscles were needed in there for taijutsu.

He glared at me in anger and I for once glared back. He was just stupid if he chose to ignore a wound like that. He could be pissed at me if he wanted to be, but only after getting his wound treated.

He for once turned away first, as he prepared to leave the clearing. I realized rather slowly that Neji was not angry with me for wounding him, but rather with himself for having failed to block my weapon.

"Hey Neji, it's not a big deal. We'll hop over to the hospital and you'll be fixed today. You might even be fine to practice tomorrow. I've never hit you before so be proud of me." I tried to sound cheerful, as if nothing momentous had happened today, but I'm sure that my bit of pride and sense of accomplishment had leaked into my tone. I was happy to have finally beaten him. He deserved any pain that he faced now after what he had done to me and Hinata.

I almost laughed aloud when I realized that I had asked him to be proud of me. I knew that Neji really didn't care that I'd suddenly gotten better. Neji was only interested in seeing himself improve and my ability was only a mark to measure himself against. He probably thought that I was so far below him that this little training injury was an insult.

I moved close enough to touch him, and though about grabbing his arm to support him. I had done the same for Lee on many occassions. I could see that Neji was clenching his teeth, trying to act as though the pain meant nothing to him. I didn't think that it would be too big of a deal to help him, but as I tried to touch him, but I realized that I hated the idea of being near his hands. He was a wounded animal and any annoyance or pain could cause him to lash out. I liked having full control of my chakra and wasn't feeling particularly compassionate toward this boy.

"Neji," I tried to sound serious, "Do you want me to help take you to the hospital or do you want to go yourself? Either way I'm sure that we'll be back practicing tomorrow." I could practically hear the boy growling, and I had no desire to agitate him to the point of lashing out. I only wanted to help him if he asked. I couldn't stand to have my chakra disrupted again.

He didn't answer.

"Neji if you don't go to the hospital today then there is no way in hell that we are doing anything more tomorrow. I won't help you finish today either. It's less than a day out of your training and you'll have twenty more left." I was trying to reason with him about whatever he was thinking. He was stubborn and being stupid and I hoped that he knew it.

He finally nodded. "So am I helping you or am I just leaving you here?" I tried to use the motherly tone that I'd heard so many times from moms in the market. "Choose, Neji," I stated firmly as I crossed my arms and stood in front of him. I was just out of his reach, but I could still catch him if he were to fall.

What happened next surprised both of us, as he actually lifted up his good arm, silently asking for my aid. I hesitated, remembering the promise that I'd made to myself.

"Neji," I said before I took one step closer, "Listen to me well. If you do _anything_ to my chakra, even if you're scared out of your mind, I'll kick your ass. I mean it. Don't fucking touch me, Neji, got it?" I never yelled at him, usually brushing off the shit that he had done to me, but I was never going to be like that again. I could tolerate more than anyone Neji's bullshit, and I was not going to allow him to do anything to me.

He didn't react at all, so I hoisted him up. His legs were fine, but He had to lean in to remove the pull in his shoulder when he stood up.

Neither of us said anything as I walked him to a room not very far from Lee's. He caused my pink shirt to be a bloody mess by the end, but I didn't care. I left him without a word as soon as the doctor entered the room. I probably would have waited with Neji before the final incident with Hinata, probably even spoken to him the entire time that we waited for the doctor. I was pissed at him, though and really felt no need to be with him. I returned to Gai-sensei and Lee's room without even glancing back at Neji.

Gai-sensei was actually gone for once, and Lee was pretty lucid. I sat down next to my favorite teammate and even touched his head. I never could have done that with Neji.

"Hey, Lee. How are you feeling?" I asked without my usual cheer. I was tired from my bout with Neji, and the adrenaline that seeing his wound had forced through my body had quickly worn off.

"Well my beautiful teammate!" He lied easily, faking a happiness that Gai had taught him.

"Do you want anything Lee? I know that Gai-sensei is here everyday, but he's an old guy, not someone young like you and me," I was making a joke about Gai's youthful attitude, but Lee was oblivious.

"No, my beautiful flower, but what are you doing here again? You were just here this morning!" Apparently he had remembered my presence, even if he had been doped up on whatever drugs they pumped into patients.

"Neji had a training accident," I stated simply without any elaboration. Neji would not be happy if I blabbered to everyone about his failure to block my attack.

Lee nodded his head sagely. "He's lucky to have never been injured before, especially with you as a training partner."

"Hey! What's that mean?" I figured that Lee meant that I was clumsy or something, but realizing that he was giving me a compliment.

"Nothing! Nothing! You're just a beautiful flower Tenten, umm . . . like a rose! And roses, they have thorns!" He was grasping at straws, and using lingo that Gai had taught him was not benefitial to his situation.

"I'm dangerous then?" I asked actually curious about his answer.

"Oh course, Tenten! You're the third member of Team Gai! All of us are dangerous!" Lee would tearing up again, and I had no doubt that he would be pumping his fist and standing on the bed if he had ben well.

I smiled, "Thanks, Lee. No one would really believe you after my disastrous match, though."

Lee smiled in return, "You art as beautiful as thou art deadly." He said this with a completely serious face and I had to laugh. He sounded like the nurse for just a moment.

"Then neither, huh Lee?" The poor boy just looked confused, not understanding my self deprecating humor.

The next day Neji and I were back at the training ground. He looked excellent, much better than someone who had been skewered the day before. I arrived to find him sitting under the first tree that I'd ever seen him meditate under.

"So Neji, how's the shoulder?" I politely asked, to which he unsurprisingly didn't respond.

"I'm going to consider that a 'very well thank you, Tenten' and move on now," I used my usual chipper and carefree tone. This was my way to cope with his attitude.

He opened his eyes about a minute later and did something that he'd never done before; he gestured for me to join him. I hesitated again, figuring that sitting too close to him was a bad idea, so I took a seat farther than was practical, but made me feel comfortable. He wouldn't be able to touch me if he had felt the unlikely inclination to try.

Neji didn't seem to notice. Propriety was never his strongest talent.

"The Kaiten is supposed to cause chakra to come from every chakra point in my body, shrouding me in a protective layer that will prevent _anything_ from getting inside." He didn't mention that he'd obviously failed at his attempts thus far, but I understood that he was finally asking for my help. He wanted my input. I felt honored and wanted to live up to the expectatations that he had apparently embued me with. I figured that he was perhaps seeing me as an equal after yesterday. Neji certainly had a weird way of acknowledging someone's ability.

"So can you shoot chakra out of every point yet?" I asked in my attempt to understand the problem.

"Yes, that is not the issue," he answered in his same emotionless tone.

"Then what is?"

He didn't answer, which was his method of avoiding admitting to uncertainty.

I tried a different approach to the problem, knowing that Neji was very inflexible. Neji couldn't work without a plan or thinking ahead. Everything was carefully planned out in his world, and his plans always worked. He could not understand how his perfect plan to create his Kaiten was failing.

"What's a Kaiten supposed to look like, Neji?"

He hesitated for a moment as if remembering. "It is a sphere. A perfect sphere made of chakra." He had seen a Kaiten before, but obviously not for years. I wondered if the man in the market from those many years ago was the last person that had shown him.

I tried to imagine a full Kaiten, but all I could see was Neji in a hamster ball, so I immediately dismissed that notion.

"Are you getting the spin right, Neji?" I knew that he would not like being questioned about his form or technique, but sometimes problems had simple solutions.

He didn't answer, again.

"So you're not sure. Who was supposed to teach you this?" Definitely something going on with this technique. The skill had a meaning for him.

Neji ignored me again.

"Fine, then how do you know what it's supposed to look like?"

"I saw it when I was four. My father wanted me to see and understand. He wasn't supposed to know it, but he wanted me to learn." He said this without the usual nostalgia of a person talking about their parents. I'd been observing everyone around me with their parents for years, and Neji was obviously either adept at hiding his feelings, or really did not have any.

I remembered the boy with those boxes. I remembered the boy alone with those boxes. His father had died. I just hoped that it wasn't for learning this forbidden technique. No matter how angry Neji made me, I still did not wish death on him.

"You're not so great at spinning, Neji. You never have been. That's probably all that it is." I deliberately ignored what he'd told me. He wouldn't want to talk about it and he'd close down as soon as I mentioned it. I instead focused on the technique, and although he would not like being told about his failures, he still needed to be told.

I let my frustration out for a moment, nearly yelling at him. "I can't believe that you're only telling me this now, Neji. We could've been working on this for months, but now we only have three weeks. You _suck_ at spinning Neji. You're never going to be able to see in that Kaiten, so I hope that you have an alternative. You're gonna have to go extremely fast to create a _perfect_ sphere. It's going to take a hell of a lot of chakra in your feet for this to work." After my little tirade I snapped back to reality. I was sitting close to Hyuuga Neji, the boy who had almost destroyed my arms on many occasions. I wanted to leave again and only kept control by pushing away my thoughts.

"I can get you started spinning, Neji. I have an idea."

He did that weird looking but not seeing thing, but I knew that he was listening. He had perked up, even if he had not really acknowledged me.

I stood up, waiting for him to do the same. I hoped that he really was healed, as I knew that our practices were extremely tiring for an average uninjured ninja.

"Just watch me as long as you can Neji. You'll get worse than that shoulder if you don't," I warned him before I was off. I was flying through the treeing, flinging senbon and kunai as I went. For once I wasn't moving erratically, but in one direction. I was forcing him to see me, if only to see my kunai, and I hoped that the stupid boy understood exactly what I was doing to him.

I was even faster than yesterday and he knew it as well as I. He was watching me, or at least my senbon and kunai. Neji wasn't stupid. He understood what he needed to do, he just couldn't get it right.

I didn't tire like before, and this time I kept going. For almost thirty minutes straight I ran as fast as I could, watching Neji spin in place, trying and almost failing to keep up. He was dodging everything, but just barely.

"Faster Neji!" I yelled to him, pushing chakra to my own feet. I didn't have many weapons left and was down to just senbon. I was flinging them rapidly, hoping that my supply would last long enough for the boy to understand how it worked.

He seemed to have hit his wall when he finally spun, this time creating an arch around his torso. It wasn't perfect, and it wasn't he sphere that we wanted, but it was something.

I stopped to rest and recover my weapons.

"That almost was it, Neji," I praised without showing enthusiasm. I wasn't really thrilled at his potential to finally work his technique. I was more satisfied that I had done something that he could not. I studied him, but he was staring at his hands, seemingly ignoring me. I noticed his chest rise and fall and realized that he was tired, more tired than I had ever managed to make him before.

"Maybe it will be better when you've fully recovered." I tried to perk him up. I figured that he was still upset that he had not managed to do a complete Kaiten. "This isn't going to be an overnight thing."

"I'm been working on this since I was four years old, Tenten." He said my name like you would that of an annoying child—one that you enjoyed but did not currently want to listen to. I couldn't let him get away with that.

"But _I've_ only been working on it one afternoon. Give me some time and I can probably get you where you want." I wasn't making promises, but I was also not going to let him beat down on my success. I'd brought him this far and he had to accept that.

"Let's go home Neji. I'm tired." I refrained from remarking how he looked at least as winded as I was. He was still injured, after all. "I've had a long day," I said for the both of us.

He silently stood and I escorted him home, unlike the last time that we'd been training all-day. He didn't seem particularly pleased, but he didn't say anything at all.

The next week was much like the first day, but the arch around his torso came faster. By that Friday we'd managed to have it surround him for several minute-long intervals, but he still couldn't create the sphere.

We both fell to the ground after our final turn, this time keeping the arch for almost two minutes.

I propped myself up on my elbows in my lupide position, and looked back toward him. He was winded, but sitting down and appearing to meditate rather than concede to his fatigue. "OK, Neji. I'm thinking this isn't finished. Tell me what you're doing exactly. We're missing something."

He was reluctant, like always, to share his information, but after a few moments of silence he spoke. "I'm pushing chakra through my whole body. I'm forcing the chakra through all of the points in my body, even the smallest ones."

He was staring at his hands again and I stood up to walk closer, curious about what had his attention.

"What are you looking at, Neji?" I asked as I looked down at him.

He didn't answer but held up his hands, allowing me to see at my 'safe distance.'

They were discolored, almost like bruises healing. They had a yellow tinge covering them, and in his palm and in his wrist he had several familiar purple marks.

"What the hell happened? Did you **Juken** yourself?" He gave me that hard look, showing his impatience with my apparent stupidity. "OK, you're not stupid enough to do that, so what's with the purple?"

"The purple discoloration is a sign that chakra points have been closed off. A build-up occurs, creating the discoloration." This was his emplanation for what he had been doing to me for years.

"You've accidentally closed up your **tenkitsu** points?" I guessed trying to make it sound less bad than it actually was. He was hurting himself every day, but continued to train through the pain. I'd experienced the pain myself and knew how horrible it was. I wasn't sure how he could keep pushing chakra through these points in his hands, but he obviously had abilities that I lacked.

"Hn."

"Well what would make that happen, Neji?" I asked annoyed that he had obviously not cared enough about the pain to fix whatever he was doing to himself.

"Either **Juken**, which is essentially disrupting someone's chakra with your own, or they could be closed by perhaps too much chakra."

"How much chakra are you pushing into your hands, Neji?"

"Enough."

"Enough for what?"

"The arch that you have seen." Something clicked for me then.

"You're just using too much chakra, Neji. That's why you tire out so fast, too. This isn't supposed to be a move that can kill you, right? That arch is not good, it's too much chakra. You're probably only able to release it out of your torso because that's where your largest **tenkitsu** points are. Neji, stronger isn't always better." I said the last sentence with the most emphasis. He never understood this concept, especially whenever he worked with Lee or me. "You probably only need a little chakra to create the sphere. Chakra is like light-learned this in class-particle and matter. It doesn't need a thick coating for it to work. You should only need a bit to keep someone else, or their weapons, out." I felt like I'd probably insulted him by doubting his intelligence, but I didn't care. I needed to ramble to understand what I was saying myself. Neji was a moron and had been using too much of himself, just like he did in everything.

He stood up as if ready to go again. "Hell no, Neji. I'm tired. We'll do this again tomorrow. I still have to gather my things and I'm _tired._" I was not throwing all of my weapons again, no matter the revelation that I may have had. I needed to rest, even if Neji could ignore his fatigue.

He gave me one of his disgusted looks, that I purposefully avoided as I gathered up my senbon. There were a ton of them and it always took a long time when Neji refused to help. He left before I'd even gathered half of my senbon. Apparently he had no patience and no desire to be walked home that day. One day I was going to learn to use chakra strings and I would never have to pick up anything ever again.

One week later, and one week before the finals, Neji managed his first near perfect Kaiten. I tossed kunai and senbon and even a shuriken at it, but everything was bounced back I managed a few close shaves with my own kunai and felt mildly perturbed that Neji only looked smug when he finished the spin.

"There, Neji. You did it. Are you satisfied now?"

I didn't expect an answer; Neji was never going to be satisfied. He would never tell me "thanks" either. He would assure himself that he would have eventually been able to perfect the Kaiten without my input.

"You've perfected your little ultimate technique. We'll practice lightly every day until your competition, but we're not going all out. I don't want to hurt you before you face Naruto."

Neji silently agreed.

I didn't feel the need to attend Neji's match against Naruto and tried to spend the day with Lee. Lee was of course extremely jittery and angry that he was missing out on the big day, but Gai-sensei and I managed to persuade him to stay at the hospital. He did try to convince me to go if only so that I could describe the matches for him, but I flatly refused. Only when Gai-sensei told me that he would be going and that I probably needed to see the match did I agree to attend.

The match was horrible and it did look like Neji would win. Gai-sensei and I sat together in the stands, but didn't comment on the match. Gai instead watched everything in an uncharacteristic silence.

I was oddly silent too, only sucking in my breath when I saw the Caged Bird Seal. I had never known that Neji was marked. I'd followed him for almost ten years and I had no idea. I remembered the time that I first saw the band, but it had never occurred to me as being anything other than a tie for his hair. When it had been replaced with his forehead protector, I thought that my idea had been confirmed. I finally understood why he hated the main and branch families, but I more importantly understood what he needed to overcome. He needed to get passed this huge issue in his life. He needed to understand that he wasn't fighting fate or whatever. He was just unlucky and could do better.

He lost and Naruto proved his ideas about fate false. Neji was beaten badly and taken out in a stretcher. Gai-sensei didn't move to follow me, but he did give a short nod with his head to indicate the direction of the irfirmary. That was when I found Neji with his uncle.

His uncle looked exactly like the man that I remembered, exactly like an older Neji, and I understood Neji even more. His father had died for this man, and Neji believed that the man that he was destined to serve had killed Neji's father, his own twin brother. Neji's father claimed to give his life for freedom, to control his own life, but I knew better. I knew that love drove people to such lengths, not just hatred. Neji's father had loved his brother more than he had hated him. Neji's father wanted to save someone that he loved. Neji didn't see that and Hyuuga Hakashi couldn't either. They were foolish men and I wanted to enter the room and correct them. Instead I watched as the boy that I'd always watched was comforted by his uncle and received a promise of training. The same training that I'd always watched and for the past year always been a part of. I didn't cry or anything like that, but I did feel cheated. I'd finally figured something out, solved the Kaiten, and I didn't matter anymore to Neji, not even as a partner. I was annoyed and this allowed me to fall prey to the sleep placed on the whole stadium rather easily.

Just a few short days after I thought that Lee's life as a ninja would be saved, I almost lost both of them again.

I wasn't insulted like Ino about not being included on the mission to retrieve Sasuke, but I was more than mildly angry when Lee was brought back after almost destroying himself again.

When they brought Neji in I was almost distraught. He had a gaping wound in his chest and I hadn't seen him since that day in the infirmary. Neji had been training with his uncle, but apparently the training hadn't saved him from some wacked out on power spider guy with a freakier blood-limit than Neji.

I watched as they wheeled Neji into the room, already waiting there since Lee had been brought back. It took almost ten hours before the doctors and nurses told us that Neji would survive. It took another day before I could see him. Lee and Gai-sensei let me go in first.

I entered the room not quite knowing what to expect. The last time that I'd seen Neji he'd been in bad shape thanks to Naruto, but Naruto had never tried to kill him. Here was Neji, the man that I followed since I was four years old, and he was recovering from what should have killed him

He was sleeping when I sat down in a chair next to his bed. He looked more peaceful than he had ever since I had first seen him that day in the market. His skin was pale and looked even whiter against his black hair. I reached for his hand and held it, not for the first time recognizing our contrast. He was one of the whitest men that I'd ever seen, and I was probably the brownest girl in the city. From my skin to my eyes to my hair, everything was brown. I was perfectly common, and Neji looked like a prince lying there. Our roles should have been reversed. I was supposed to need saving, the poor peasant girl, not the beautiful princeling.

His eyes fluttered open and he finally looked at me. I smiled, momentarily having forgotten that even his eyes were white.

"You're not supposed to touch me, remember Tenten?" Trust him to say something opportune. Anyone else would have just been thankful for the comfort from a friend, but Neji couldn't allow me a moment of peace.

"No, _you _are not supposed to touch _me_. Remember, Neji?" I recalled my words to him perfectly, as well as my threats.

"Oh yes, that was what you said, wasn't it?" he said rather flippantly, as if that day in the training grounds had not marked an important time in our relationship.

"Yes," I answered equally as blasé, choosing to follow his lead.

He didn't object to me holding his hand and I probably wouldn't have let him. I needed to hold him right then, even if he didn't know why.

"I'm not going to ask how you feel, Neji. I can already tell. You look like shit." I smiled slyly at him, knowing how much he would dislike my cursing.

"How do you feel about your lack of hair? I noticed that the bastard seems to have taken a good chuck with him." Neji looked strange with the cut, but I was not going to say that to him. He would not appreciate my feelings on his appearance.

Neji actually seemed to laugh, not smiling, but a few expulsions of air from his lung. I realized that for these few moments were children again and Neji could enjoy himself.

"I always liked my hair, but it never looked as good as yours." He was joking with me, so I knew that he had definitely been given a very high dose of pain medications.

"Yeah, I have great hair. No one can compare," and I meant that, even if I sounded like I was joking.

"I remember," he said staring at my eyes. For the first time I wondered if he remembered that rainy day too.

"It'll grow back, though," I promised him as I picked up the shortened, uneven mess. "Your hair. Maybe even nicer than before. You'll know what you're doing and how to care for it."

"I already did. Hyuuga men almost always keep our hair long. My father showed me." He was sharing something extremely personal and I felt an inclination to take advantage of the situation.

"That sounds mighty . . . feminine Neji."

"Do most boys' mothers teach them?" He asked actually curious. Neji never had a mother, and he probably wondered what having a female parent was like.

"I'm not sure, but I feel like most boys don't care enough to learn, Neji. It's a skill women feel the need to know." I didn't exactly call him a girl, but the implication was there.

He suddenly squeezed my hand tighter and I knew that the moment was broken. We were back to the adult world.

"I was scared to die, Tenten," he almost whispered, definitely afraid of his own confession.

"I know Neji. I was scared for you," I said leaning in and taking his hand with both of mine.

"The same way that you were for Lee?" He sounded almost disappointed.

"Of course Neji. I was scared for both of you," I assured him trying to convince him that I wanted him whole again.

He mumbled something with my name and his grip almost seemed to tighten further. I didn't ask him to repeat what he said, as if he did not want me to hear in his drugged state, then he truly was hiding something from me.

"I'm going to be training with my family." My uncle was what he didn't say. He was kind enough to tell me, to warn me so that I would not wait for him.

"I already knew that, Neji." He didn't ask how I knew, but just nodded his head.

"I might only see you on missions," he said to emphasize the separation. He seemed almost to dislike the idea instead of welcoming the respite from a less adept partner.

"I figured," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Maybe if there's team meetings or sessions, then I'll be there."

"You're going to pull ahead of me and Lee, Neji. I'll be surprised if you're on Team Gai for very long after this," I said to encourage him. He was a great ninja, and we all knew that he was ahead of us.

He held my hand tighter, this time I was sure. "I've always known that you were above me, Neji. You're the Hyuuga genius," I told him as I tried to instill in him the pride that I felt. He was amazing, even if he were an ass.

"That's not what I want," he whispered, but with the intention that I would hear.

"No, I remember what you want. You want to change your clan. To do that, Neji, you need to be with your family. You need to make them see. You need to work and keep that drive that is just so perfectly Neji." He stared at me, realizing for the first time that I actually knew him. I almost laughed. I'd been with him for four years, following in his steps. I'd gone to school with him for another four. I'd been on his team for almost a year and half, and he still didn't realize how well I knew him. He really was oblivious to my obsession.

"It's been a comfort to have me there, Neji. Even if you never said it, I know. You've always liked having me around, even if you told yourself that it was just to help yourself improve. I've known, even if you haven't." Even someone like Neji needs another person. No one can be completely alone, and I've been the one person around for him.

"I knew, Tenten. I've always known." Apparently this drugged Neji was going to air all of his secrets.

"But you would never have admitted it," I reminded him. "And that's fine. We're not saying 'goodbye' forever, Neji, we're just entering another part of our lives." I'd seen him go through literally every stage, this wasn't so hard for me. I could handle another change. I'd still be watching him, even if he didn't know it. I figured that he would even forget about me, especially since he was finally willing to bond with that huge family of his.

I forced him to release my hand, which he did with extreme reluctance, and brushed some of the hair from his face.

"You'll do better without me, Tenten. I can see it." He whispered this, obviously straining to say the words.

"That may be true Neji," I stroked his cheek, "but that doesn't mean too much to you." I knew that his statement was true, but he didn't need to know my feelings and be hurt anymore than he already was. I'd done better when I was alone as a child. I'd done better with no friends in the academy. I'd do better without him messing with me.

"I know," and so he did know that he was hurting me.

"And it bothers you," I stated rather than asked. Apparently the idea that I could be better away from his was terrible to him. He wanted me to need him like he needed me. He had no idea how much I had always needed him, about for how long I had always been with him.

"Yes," he admitted.

"You're trying to be good Neji, but you're still Hyuuga Neji. You're selfish and egotistical and that's OK," I said pretending to punch him in the shoulder. He was trying to be a good person by admitting that he was a weight on my shoulders, a hinderance, but he still just wanted me there with him, even at my cost.

"You've always accepted me," he said without doubt. He believed that I would always be there for him.

"Not always, but I've come pretty darn close," and I had. Only recently had I doubted him, always believing that there was something that justified everything that he did.

He was silent for a moment, wanted to say something, but likely struggling with the drugs to prevent whatever he wanted to blurt out. "Will you let me touch you again, Tenten?" he finally asked as he reached for my arm. I thought about letting him touch my skin in a manner that was not meant to harm, but I quickly stopped him. I grabbed his wrist and put it back by his side.

"No, not now, Neji. I don't think that it would be to either of our benefits." Allowing any sort of relationship other than friends or teammates between us would be a disaster. We were both too messed up for anything else.f He barely let me finish my refusal before continuing.

"I think that I love you." Not exactly every girl's dream confession, but I'd sort of suspected this moment would come. I just never expected a confession induced by pain medication.

"I know," and I did know. Love was the natural result of putting two teenagers together for extremely long periods of time, especially when neither of them had anyone except the other. I didn't answer him back though, as he didn't want to know the truth. I wasn't in love with him and I don't think that I could ever be. I knew him too well. It's possible to know someone too well to ever love them romantically.

"What does that mean, Tenten?" he asked in obvious confusion. The poor guy really had no idea about me at all. I wondered if he even knew that I had no family either. I never had explicity stated this fact, but I had never hidden it either.

I touched his seal. Tracing the outline of it. He closed his eyes, almost as if my fingertips caused him physical pain, but he did not pull away.

"It means that you are Hyuuga Neji, the genius of your clan and the one who will change it for the better That is, if you learn to be nice to the future leader." I smiled at him.

"And you?" he asked obviously referring to my feelings for him, even if I wanted him to be asked about something else.

"I am Tenten," I said this as if it answered all his questions. And it did, but he just hadn't realized the truth yet.

"Yes. Yes, you are Tien-Tien," and I heard my name from the lips of Hyuuga Neji once more.


	3. Growing Up

**Part 3: Growing Up**

Three years after Neji almost died I started to let him go.

Neji was already at jonin level in ability when we were genin, and as soon as he lost his attitude and anger he made chunin. Lee and I weren't far behind, but Neji jumped right into jonin within a year of us all being officially chunin. He was better than us, whether Lee was ready to admit that or not. Neji could think and had ability. I could think, but I didn't have a gift. Lee was strong, but he lacked the thinking quality of jonin. He'd find it later, but not while just idolizing Gai-sensei.

My ability to hide my chakra probably reached jonin levels before Neji's thanks to my late-night escapades. During the day I would train alone or with Gai-sensei and Lee if I felt particularly in need of pain, but at night I watched Neji's home. Sometimes I waited for him in his clearing and sometimes he actually was there. I didn't reveal myself, and he actually never found me there. Neji still didn't know about my fascination with him, and I had no intention of revealing it.

When I was alone I improved drastically. I learned several new weapons and even learned to seal. I was surprisingly good at sealing, and I actually never had a teacher. I learned from some books and it turned out that I was pretty steady with a brush. It came from years of holding weapons, I'm sure.

With my new sealed scrolls I bought hundreds more weapons. I carried two of them, each containing a multitude of weapons. I didn't have anyone to throw them at anymore, but I did manage to have great aim with practice dummies at least.

The next year I fulfilled my promise to myself and learned chakra strings. I actually picked it up in an unconventional way and I'm sure that Neji would not have approved. He would not have approved of a lot of the things that I did, but he didn't need to know.

Chakra strings are not very difficult in themselves, but they take a lot of practice, intense ability to concentrate on multiple objects at once, and most importantly, a lot of patience.

Gai-sensei, Lee, and I were sent on a mission to Sand. As was pretty typical, Neji the jonin didn't join us. He was busy training and had other work to do. The mission was actually 'B-rank,' so Lee was extremely excited and I was pretty happy about the new weapon the paycheck would get me.

"Welcome to my home," Kankuro gushed us as we entered the gates of the Kazekage. "You're actually going to be staying in our home. Gaara has such a soft spot for this little guy here," the large boy said as he grabbed Lee around the shoulders in a very affectionate way.

Kankuro was a big guy, at least as tall as Gai-sensei, and at 19 he was almost as broad as Choji in the shoulders. When he grabbed Lee, poor Lee actually looked dwarfed. Lee wasn't a small guy, but he was compact. His size didn't betray the strength beneath.

"It will be my honor to stay with the family of Gaara!" Lee practically shouted. Kankuro was a calm guy, but he was quick to back away from Lee. Lee and Gai had a tendency to shout whenever anything made them slightly happy, and Kankuro was quick to realize this.

"They still do that, huh?" Kankuro tried to whisper to me. He failed to be quiet, but Lee and Gai didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah, they've never been ones to hide their emotions," I said in a combination of exasperation and pride. My teammates were ridiculous, but they were amazing as well.

"Unlike that other teammate of yours, right?" Kankuro said trying to goad me. His dislike for Neji was pretty obvious early on. Kankuro did not trust people who acted like emotions were not important, except for Gaara anyway. Kankuro loved Gaara.

"Yeah. Lee and Neji are pretty much as opposite as you can get." Neji was well groomed and looked handsome and Lee lived up to his name-sake as the Green Beast of Konoha."

"Where is that guy anyway?" Kankuro asked mildly curious, pretending to look behind us as if he expected my teammate to appear. "Isn't he still a part of your squad?"

"Yeah, but he's a jonin now. He has his own private missions," I explained as we all walked through the streets. Gai and Lee stayed further behind us, leaving Kankuro and I to talk without punctuations about youth and spring.

"Teamwork and friendship still so important to the Leaf, huh?" Kankuro said seeing the obvious irony of keeping our squad together although we were a member short.

"Of course, and you know that with Gaara in charge here that your style will take a similar turn." Gaara had changed, and he had become sort of obsessed with caring for his extended family.

"Oh I like the Leaf. I like it a lot. Ya'll saved my ass. And my brother. And hell even my bitch of a sister." He laughed as he finished, as did I.

I had to laugh at Kankuro. He was a crude man, but always entertaining to be around. He spoke exactly what was on his mind and was disinclined to express self-restraint. He was a lot like Lee, only perhaps more ornerier.

"Friendships developed as genin are expected to last through adulthood and into jonin teams," I explained to Kankuro without any concern for village secrets. The structure was certainly not unique to Konoha.

"So when you're a jonin you're gonna be with him again?" Kankuro asked sounding curious.

"Maybe." I liked how he said 'when' I was a jonin. Kankuro didn't seem to doubt my skills. He was already a jonin himself and barely older than Neji. He was admittedly specially trained since birth, but I couldn't help but be impressed. None of the three Sand siblings had belonged in the Chunin Exam. They could and did destroy most of their competition.

We walked along in fun conversation (Kankuro didn't do polite), allowing Lee and Gai to entertain themselves. They were too busy setting up new challenges for themselves while here in the leaf to notice Kankuro and me.

"This mission that they sent you all here for, it really doesn't require that much manpower," Kankuro said trying to keep the conversation filled.

"Person-power," I corrected automatically giving him a wink. I figured that he would appreciate my feminist humor with a sister like his.

"Yeah, don't tell my sister that I made that mistake. She'll ram me into the ground next time we spar," he said pretending to sound legitimately afraid.

"You're lucky that she's in the Leaf then," I said as I nudged him with my shoulder.

"Maybe, but more likely she's getting lucky to be there." I laughed again. He really was crude, even in regards to someone like his sister.

"That's not nice conversation in front of a lady," I lightly chastised.

"You remind me a bit of my sister, and I have a feeling that you've heard worse." I of course had, so I couldn't correct him. We were ninja, and ninja had a lot of dirty jobs to do.

"I remind you of your sister? Is that good or bad?" I had slipped into flirthing without actually meaning to do so, but I couldn't help it. He was an attractive man, and I liked him.

"I haven't decided. You don't look like her or really even act like her, but you have that same sort of 'don't take no shit' look." Neji would have been horrified at the way that Kankuro described me, but I enjoyed it.

"Thanks. That sounds pretty good," and it did. Neji would never have tolerated my behavior if he were on this mission, but he wasn't there, so I was free to act how I wanted.

"It's probably from dealing with that hard-ass, Nija all the time." I didn't correct him on the name, figuring he probably had enough intel to know Neji's name. Kankuro was just messing around.

"Neji's softened since last time you were in the Leaf," I said said with mock offense.

"Well that's a relief. Guy looked like he was going crazy during the finals and looked dead when we picked him up after that mission to save your Uchiha." I did not like the reminder of the failed mission to rescue Sasuke, but I brushed off the awkwardness. There was no reason that Neji's injury should hamper my fun with Kankuro.

"He's much better now," I said on Neji's behalf.

"Anything would be an improvement from that shmuck you were training with before. How did you deal with him for over a year without beating him to a pulp?" I smiled and almost laughed. Kankuro did not know that I'd sometimes thought about skewering Neji, but he obviously knew what it was like to have a difficult team member.

"Oh, I've known him since we were very young. We were at the academy together. I always knew that he was like that," I explained as a way to explain away my tolerance for the prodigy.

"So you were ready for the ass kickings and moments of absolute annoyance?" he said in a jocular tone.

"Yep, pretty much," I glibly replied back.

"No, you're not like my sister, then."

"No?" I silently asked how we were different.

"Much too nice and understanding to be like her. You might not take crap, but that's where the similarities end." I had taken a lot of crap from Neji, but Kankuro did not need to know about those times.

We arrived at his home and I was suitably impressed. Everything in their desert was pretty brown and dreary, but their home made brown look nice. When Gaara materialized in front of us I recognized that his red hair actually looked natural in this place. The russet color was throughout the house and I wondered who had actually chosen the color scheme.

"Welcome," he said with a straight face oddly similar to Neji's. He held out his hand for Gai-sensei first, the mission leader, but Lee jumped on him before Gaara had even reached Gai.

"My friend! I must offer my congratulations! You have achieved success that I could never dream about!" Lee had tears in his eyes, as did Gai, and Kankuro and I were both trying to hold in our laughter. We could see how this situation was going to play out.

Gaara looked pained and extremely uncomfortable, but he tolerated Lee more than anyone. He had tried to kill him multiple times and Lee had only survived due to some interference from friends. Gaara felt guilty, so he tried to make amends by not killing Lee whenever Lee acted inappropriately.

I took pity on Gaara after just a few moments and grabbed Lee, hauling him off of the smaller man. When I looked from Gaara to Kankuro it was difficult to imagine that they were related. I figured that the biju inside of Gaara must have changed him. Gaara's eyes and hair were probably not genetic but products of his 'other' heritage.

"It's good to see you, **Kazekage**. Thank you for allowing us to assist your ninja in this matter," I said diplomatically taking the lead. Gai should be doing this, but he was busy shouting about something with Lee.

"Thank you for coming," Gaara replied, looking at me curiously. He probably didn't remember me. I was pretty easy to forget apparently.

"It's OK if you don't know who I am, Gaara." I was trying to save him from the awkwardness associated with meeting someone who knows you, but whom you do not recall. "I'm the teammate of Lee and Hyuuga Neji. Your sister tossed me about back in the Chunin Exams."

He didn't react, but nodded as if the knowledge were common. He probably didn't remember that time too well.

"Come inside. Kankuro will take care of you. I must return." Gaara was obvious not interested in reminiscing and probably had many tasks as the Kazekage.

Lee seemed to hear this, as he was suddenly making another grab for Gaara who, even faster than usual, disappeared in a cloud of sand.

We all stood there for a moment, a little shocked from the strangeness of the meeting.

"Well, let me show you to your palace anyway, my lady," Kankuro said actually offering his arm. I laughed, and played along just for a moment. There was no harm in fun between ninja. We needed to laugh every once in a while.

Lee and Gai followed behind us, both plotting whatever mischief went on inside the minds of the green-clad taijutsu experts of Konoha.

Our mission was completed quickly and easily, just like Kankuro promised, leaving the four of us with quite a bit of down time. Lee and Gai-sensei immediately started using the desert as a new training ground, but Kankuro suggested taking some down time—just another way that he and Neji were different.

Kankuro and I found plenty to do in his city. He loved the Sand, and he was enthusiastic in showing me everything.

"This is where we make our weapons. I figured that you would be particularly interested in this," he said as we were walking through the willage. He pulled me into a building with five huge furnaces and dozens of people all pounding metal.

"Your weapons are collectively made instead of by individuals? Monopolizing the market?" I asked in awe of the process. It seemed a bit dictatorial, but also far more convenient.

"Nah, this had been the way that the Sand does it forever. Our weapons only go out to ninja. It keeps normal citizens from going nuts. They can't get a hold of kunai and shuriken unless they're from other villages."

"Does it work?" I asked mildly curious.

"Usually. It might be more of a traditional thing than an actual good practice," he shrugged, showing a lack of concern. Apparently civilians rarely had weapons in the Sand.

"So you can't make all of your weapons here, though." I examined the walls and the trays of weapons. Not every weapon was made from metal, as a puppet user knew well.

"Nah, my weapons, now they're specially made to order." He was referring to his puppets, and I was mildly curious.

"How does that work?" I asked.

Kankuro walked me out of the building and into the streets. He kept chatting while giving waves to the many people that knew him.

"Puppetry originated here in the sand. We've got this crazy old lady who pretty much invented it, or well made it what you see today. Me, I use puppets that were made by her grandson." He was proud of his heritage, and his pride shone through in his words. He really became excited when talking about his toys.

"So there aren't any special ninja-puppet stores, I take it?" I said trying to joke with him.

"Nope, you gotta make 'em yourself or somehow inherit," he said flippantly, but obviously proud.

"You're lucky to have yours then, huh?"

He nodded. I noted that he had three scrolls, each sealed like the two that I carried. He had three puppets, two more than the one that I'd seen during his matches. He and I had both grown as ninja and had aquired new weapons.

"Does it take long to become a puppet user?" I was extremely curious. It seemed similar to my weapons in a lot of ways, especially in the importance of hands.

"Depends on if you've got the skill for it or if you're gonna have to work at it," flicking his hands out as he said this, demonstrating remarkable dexterity. He didn't appear defensive, and obviously recognized that I was curious in puppets as weapons. I had no desire to use them.

"Did you have the skill?" I didn't mean it to sound suggestive and immediately balked at my own words. "That came out wrong," I said knowing that it was too late to correct my error.

Kankuro smiled, "Of course I've got skills with my hands," he said suggestively flexing them. "Just imagine what these can do," he said as he moved toward me and wiggled his fingers.

I shook my head and tried not to laugh. He really was fun to be around.

It was impolite to ask too many questions about how a skill worked, even between allies, so I tried not to push him to give me more details. It was a bit of an effort, though. I wanted to know and I really wanted to work my own chakra strings.

I figured that I'd play along with him to see if he'd tell me anything.

"I'm pretty sure that I've at least as much skill as you, Kankuro. These hands have worked more weapons than you can imagine," I said as I flexed and moved my own hands before us as we walked.

He actually made a little gagging noise in an attempt to hold his laughter.

"A weapons mistress is skilled with her hands, then?" he said with obvious connotations. He was enjoying our banter perhaps even more than I.

"Of course. I'm at least as good at sealing as you." I gestured to my own scrolls, "I've got enough in here to supply a whole army."

"With what?" he asked wagging his eyebrows. It was a good thing that the Kabuki paint was gone or he would have looked even more ridiculous. I had difficulty not laughing without clown make up across his face.

"Pointy things of course," I said with a pretend threat.

Kankuro put his hands behind his head, showing how relaxed he felt with me. "I guess that we're pretty similar then, as masters with our own weapons. We even think alike, sealing away our equipment for use only when called upon."

"I can call on my weapons of course, but I can't call them back like you can yours," I was trying to turn the conversation to chakra strings without being too obvious. I was desperate to learn, but I had no one to teach me.

The conversation had returned to being casual and less sexual, so I was worried that he would become more closed off.

"Yeah, you haven't learned chakra strings yet then, huh?" he said thankfully maintaining the playful nature of our conversation.

"Nah, it's not a common skill and there isn't much information on it back in the Leaf," I humbly admitted.

"But sealing is common?" he asked mildly curious.

"Yeah, our fourth Hokage was a seal master. We've had a couple over the years. I managed to learn enough on sealing from books to manage what I've made here." I patted my scrolls.

"That's pretty impressive. You taught yourself?" he sounded surprised, perhaps realize that he had underestimated me.

"Yeah, I'm usually better when I figure something out on my own." I was flippant, not really seeing the accomplishment in learning something rather simple. I did not know a single complex technique, and only really used what I had learned individually in battle.

"You learned weapons by yourself too?" he asked sounding even more shocked.

"Of course. Everything that I wield is in a self-taught," I answered sounding surprised. He had implied that he had learned puppetry without a great deal of assistance.

"Very impressive," he said without the condescension that would have been in Neji's voice.

"Not impressive enough. I'm still the chunin," I said without obvious annoyance. I was not amazingly talented, but I still hated being left behind by my teammates; anyone would have felt the same in my situation.

"Ninjutsu not so great, then?" he asked with what could have been intelligence on me. He might have already known about my lack of ninjutsu before I even arrived.

"How'd you guess?" I said trying not to sound annoyed.

"You can't do the chakra strings, so of course that's your issue. Is there a reason that most of your team doesn't use ninjutsu so much?" he sounded like he was fishing for information, so I quickly calculated what I could tell him.

"Lee can't. That's pretty common knowledge," and I knew that Kankuro already was aware of this fact.

"And you?" I wasn't sure about his motivations, whether he was genuinely curious about me, or whether he wanted to get information on the Leaf. I thought about whether to tell him the truth. I'd never told anyone what Neji had done. He might have known, but no one else really understood.

"That's pretty secret information, Kankuro. What'll you give me for it?" I asked trying to return the conversation to something a bit less serious. I was not sure how comfortable I was with letting anyone know what I had been through with Neji.

He smiled suggestively and I shook my head. He seemed to think for a minute.

"I'll give you one of my books on chakra string theory. You can't take it out of the village, but I'll let you read it." I was shocked at his generosity. Techniques were guarded selfishly by ninja, yet he was willing to allow me access to such an awesome technique.

"That's a pretty big gift just for a bit of information." He knew that I wanted to know about chakra strings, and it seemed as though he had plotted a way to help me without losing face as a ninja from another ninja.

"We're allies now, and I'm curious. There are other villages where chakra strings are pretty common. I don't feel like I'm giving too much away here." He wasn't really giving away any technique that was unheard of in the Leaf, but it still was pretty rare. I had not managed to find a teacher after years of searching.

"Deal then," I said with absolute happiness. I'd happily reveal something personal, probably anything personal, if it meant helping me improve as a ninja. "You wanna know now or later?" I asked without any particular care. I trusted Kankuro to keep his word, and telling him now or later did not really make a difference.

"Now." Kankuro didn't hesitate leading us away from the masses. He wasn't an oblivious guy. He could tell that I didn't want this advertised. He led us to a restaurant where he waved to the owner and led me to a corner seat.

"This gonna require alcohol?" he asked mildly. I was only seventeen and shook my head. Maybe the nineteen year olds here drank, but I wasn't interested. I had to phrase this correctly to make both Neji and I sound sane. I was still protective of my teammate, especially after the hospital incident.

Kankuro gestured to the owner who brought me some desert fruit drink and Kankuro something else. It smelled bitter, but he drank it without making any face.

"Well, you've seen Neji in action, right?" I asked trying not to give away anything about Neji's technique that Kankuro might not know.

"Sure, I remember when he tried to kick Naruto's ass in the finals," Kankuro said with a smile. He obviously had enjoyed Neji losing to the dead last. Neji had a lot in common with his brother in several ways.

"Remember Hinata, too?" I asked trying not to get upset at the memory.

"That little girl? The one that he almost killed?" Neji would be remembered even in the Sand for his attack on Hinata apparently. It was vicious and disturbing, I am sure.

"Yeah. Do you know what the **Byakugan** lets you do?"

Kankuro nodded, "See chakra, right? See your system?" He did have the basic concept down, so I would not be revealing anything that the other villages did not know.

"Yes, that's what he did to Naruto and Hinata." Naruto's situation had been completely different from Hinata's, though. Naruto had shaken off the Juken in a rather disturbing way, while Hinata had almost died.

"That **Juken**, right?" Kankuro seemed to have a pretty good memory for the technique and I again wondered if he were fishing for information.

"Yeah."

"Freaky shit. I'd never want my chakra network disrupted it's fucked up then, I take it?" I said that he wasn't stupid. He could see where this was going. He recognized that Neji had probably used the technique on me; he would have needed someone to learn it on.

"Yeah, it hurts a lot, not just immediately, but for days. It takes a long time to get chakra back though." I didn't like the memories, and my hands twitched as I described the situation. It had been horrible to lose my abilites for minutes, and days had been torturous.

"You still aren't healed from his attacks?" Kankuro guessed.

"They weren't attacks, really. We were sparring. He needed someone to practice on and I was really the only one available. It wasn't something that I volunteered for, but it became that way. He needed a dummy, and he was already sparing with me. He didn't even really ask when he started; **Juken** is really the only taijutsu that Neji knows." I was trying to defend my partner, but I knew that my defense of him was weak. Neji had done something really horrible to me, without the supervision of another more advanced specialist.

"Sounds like a way to get fucked up, though." Kankuro did not become protective; he knew that I could take care of myself and that I had made the decision to tolerate my teammate. I could have stopped him, but I didn't. I was grateful that Kankuro seemed to understand my decision, even if he obviously did not agree with it.

"Yeah, that's essentially what happened," and I was still resentful of my teammate for what he had done. Others did not need to know, but I was sure that Kankuro could tell.

"So are you damaged then? Inside I mean," Kankuro asked sounding very curious. He was more interested in any permanent damage to me rather than the technique itself.

"Maybe. I can use chakra and my control and abilities have grown tremendously since I stopped letting him touch me, but it's still not like your average chunin. I've never had the chakra control typical of girls, but I don't have the extra chakra of guys." I was resentful of Neji, and my words betrayed my feelings.

"That sucks," Kankuro summed up perfectly. I nodded my head in agreement.

"I was dealing fine until Neji sort of messed me all up," I said remembering the academy. I had been the best at practicals, including those in ninjutsu, yet I had regressed while working with Neji.

"So maybe you are damaged, and maybe you just need to practice," Kankuro stated straightly. He was not one for comfort, which was actually the perfect response. I could not have dealt with an emotional person weeping over my suffering.

"Essentially, yes," I said with a smile. Telling Kankuro my secrets was actually relieving.

Kankuro smiled in return and sat back, "Good," he said with actual happiness. "Chakra strings will help you with whatever's wrong. They take control and ability. You'll get better real quick." Not only were chakra strings apparently a great addition to my arsenal, but would help me with my ninjutsu problems.

"Thanks," I said smiling at him. He gestured to my drink.

"Now drink that quick because I'm gonna be asking some more stuff. It's all related and you might not enjoy much of it. " He apparently assumed that I would not object to being his source of information for the day. I had only agreed to reveal my secret to weak ninjutsu, but he planned on many more revelations.

Apparently he had ordered alcohol for me without my knowledge, as my tongue was rather loose. I was surprisingly not too bothered by this fact and drank the whole glass quickly, expecting a bitter taste. The drink was sweet though, nothing like alcohol in Konoha.

"What else do you wanna know, then?" I said realizing that I sounded gruffer now. Apparently the stuff worked fast.

"Why the hell would you let some ass do that to you?" He asked this with legitimate anger, even raising his voice, and I wondered if Kankuro cared about me more than I realized.

"He's important to me. And he didn't really have anyone else," I said trying to weakly defend my actions.

"Konoha and your important people, huh?" He remembered then from Naruto's many tirades.

"Yeah, but Neji's always been important for me." I wasn't sure how much I was willing to tell, but I found myself surprisingly less defensive around this man or perhaps the alcohol really was effective.

"I don't get it. What's he ever done to earn your respect? Your loyalty? Your . . . " I knew that he wanted to say the 'L-word,' but I shook my head.

"He doesn't really have my loyalty. And he doesn't have that other thing that you're thinking." I was unwilling to say the word too. I had never said it to another person, and it was a foreign concept for me. It was like a stranger in a room, one that you feel you should know, but you can never approach without an introduction.

"You sure?" Kankuro asked actually surprised, but obviously pleased. He was not skeptical, just shocked.

"Yep, it's more of a childhood fascination gone awry. And later a sort of debt to him. And even now just a strange sort of interest." The alcohol seemed to help me characterize our relationship as I had never been able to do before. Perhps it was allowing me to access thoughts that I never wanted to have.

"That sounds bizarre, Tenten," he said shaking his head and obviously pitying me.

"Yeah, everyone's lives are like that," I said rather brightly, thinking about how weird everyone I came across seemed to be. I was sitting across the table from the brother of the currect biju carrying Kazekage, who was the son of the last Kazekage who had put that biju in the boy. Life was weird, and so were people.

"True that!" he agreed taking a long sip from his own cup and laughing. He seemed to enjoy my attempts at humor as well. "Tell me about this childhood thing, then." I should have hesitated, but I felt fine sharing for once.

"I followed him when we were kids. I learned about him and secretly competed with him. Well, I imagined that I was competing with him. He was a Hyuuga and there really was no competition when he was learning something completely different from me." I was flashing back to the time before the academy, the time when I was really alone.

"But he led you to weapons, then?" Kankuro guessed. I nodded. "And he was the reason that you became a ninja?" Right again. I nodded. "That's the debt that you owe him?" he guessed.

"Pretty much," I shrugged looking for something else to drink. I felt thirsty after whatever the fruity thing was.

"And you've devoted yourself to him for that?" he asked with obvious incredulity. I had to think about how to answer. Was I really devoted to Neji?

"I wouldn't call it devotion exactly," I tried to explain. "I was there for him because we were teammates. If he'd been on another team I wouldn't have gone out of my way to let him beat the crap outta me."

"But you did," he reminded me.

"For a while, yes," I agreed without any remorse.

"You stopped it?" he asked sounding impressed with my ability to stand up to Neji. Kankuro had probably never stood up to his psycho brother.

"Yeah," I said feeling rather accomplished. Kankuro might have thought that I was crazy, but I had been strong enough to stop the madness.

"Why?" he asked curious about what allowed me to stand up to a selfish, arrogant, crazy bastard.

"Neji is a selfish jerk," I said with obvious annoyance, remember how he was even selfish in his feelings for me.

"You knew that before, though. Didn't you?" I already knew Neji, so I had known that he was selfish, but there was something else there.

"Yes, but I thought that he had reasons and that I would eventually understand them. I was willing to give up on him once, and I almost did." I recalled the time in our relationship when I would have abandoned him if Gai had not forced me to return to help Neji.

"When he tried to kill his cousin?" The incident with Hinata was horrible. I had not known everything about Neji, and although his past could not justify his action, it did put his actions into perspective and help me rationalize his actions.

"Yeah. That was just messed up. He'd done a number on me right before that too, so I'm sure it was a combination of several factors."

"Still sounds like a selfish jerk," Kankuro said as he signaled for another drink.

"He is, but he was only bad when he really didn't understand. He's better now. Much better," I promised Kankuro. Neji had changed and was definitely not trying to kill teammates or allies any more.

"Another Naruto fix?" Kankuro guessed and I nodded.

"Lots of those, huh?" Naruto really was an amazing little guy who could probably manage to fix everyone and everything if given the opportunity. Kankuro nodded.

We sat in silence for a bit. I was waiting to see what else he would ask.

Kankuro took another drink, signally to my new glass as well. "There's something else between you two though, isn't there?"

I hesitated, not really sure if I should reveal Neji's private information, even though it was sort of mine to share.

"Neji never really had anyone who understood him before I came along. He got attached to me." I wanted to justify Neji's feelings, and wanted to save him the embarrassment of having another guy know about his failure.

"So it's an unrequited love then?" Kankuro said with a smile, prompting me to take another drink of my own fruity thing.

"I can't say that. I probably love him, just not in the same way that he has been attached to me." Saying that I probably love him was not the same as saying that I did. I couldn't understand love, and Neji made the situation so much more complicated by being such a jerk.

"Rejected him?" Kankuro guesses showing a hint of sympathy. Perhaps he could even pity Neji if he had to face rejection.

"Yeah," I had to do it, as I could not return his feelings.

"Gotta suck for him." Kankuro returned to being unsympathetic; he did dislike Neji, after all.

"He'll be fine. He has a lot to do besides worry about this . . . thing." I assured myself more than my companion. I did not want to think that I had really hurt Neji.

"But it makes me wonder why you didn't get the same attachment," Kankuro said sort of fading off at the end of his statement. He did not question me, realizing that I was unsure myself.

I shrugged, not really sure of the answer myself. "I dunno, but maybe I know him too well." I was fairly certain of my answer before, but the alcohol was making me question even that judgment.

Kankuro shook his head, emphatically diagreeing. "No, I think it's because he doesn't know you." Kankuro seemed pretty sure of his answer. I had never thought about the fact that Neji knew nothing about me, but it had never seemed relevant. I had never really wanted him to want to know me. I had wanted him to be more human, but never try to know about my personal life or anything like that.

"You're . . . special, Tenten," Kankuro tried to explain. "I can see it and I'm sure that he can too. He can't see you, though. He might've even tried now, but he's been blinded by his self-interest. He loves you for being there for him, but not because he really knows you."

Kankuro really was a smart guy.

"Maybe. I don't know. I'm just trying to be whatever I can be now," without Neji was my silent addition. I needed to know Tenten without Neji around. I needed to see who I was when I was not just trying to compete with him or work with him or accept him or whetever else involved him.

"You still follow him though, huh?" I was curious if this were another lucky guess or whether Kankuro was just that good.

"Sometimes. He's hard for me to reach now—almost a different world." And the Hyuuga really were like that. I could find Neji if he were just a jonin, but Neji was much more.

"Probably for the best then," Kankuro assured me and sat back in his chair. "You can be great, Tenten," he promised. "But I have the feeling that keeping that guy in your life holds you back."

I didn't tell him that Neji had admitted the same thing. "I know."

"So what are you doing to do about this?"

I smiled wickedly at him. "Learn about chakra strings from a Sand ninja who is obviously much too interested in me." I wasn't oblivious to Kankuro's obvious desire for me, and the alcohol only made me more adventurious.

He smiled back, leaning forward, "Yeah, but remember that this Sand ninja, he can actually see you, Tenten." Kankuro wanted me to know that he could care for me as I was, not just for what I was for him. He wanted me to know that there were others out there who were willing to care for me as I was, not as they felt when they were with me.

Barely a week later I left the Sand with a new skill in my arsenal and a few more choices to make.

Returning to the Leaf wasn't very difficult, but my next mission where Neji joined us was. I finally put my chakra strings to practical use and Neji's eyes practically bulged with the strain of watching me. I was good, as even Kankuro had praised. I made extremely fine strings, and Neji noticed that my skill had improved significantly in the short while since he'd last seen me.

I was on watch while Neji, Lee, and Gai-sensei slept. I only decided to patrol around our perimeter after a flock of birds was suddenly shooting across the sky. I walked in the trees as silently as any forest creature, searching for the cause of the commotion. I found them shortly after, a group of bandits and several rogue ninja. I wasn't about to engage them all without my team, but one of the men turned out to be pretty high level, and he happened to sense me. He alerted the others and several men were suddenly upon me. They were two big guys, but they were just bandits and certainly no match for a ninja. I didn't want to lead them back to camp unless my three partners were awake, so I launched a shuriken in the dark, aiming for our tent just a few meters off. I couldn't claim perfect night vision, but unless the guys were literally standing on their tiptoes, none of them would be harmed by the sudden appearance of the weapon.

I hopped down from my vantage point to avoid the two bandits only inches from my feet and decided to flee to lead the few men away from me. I didn't really look like any high level shinobi, and my lack of ninjutsu would probably make them take me for a genin. Weapons were not common choices among chunin and certainly not by jonin (not that I could boast that title yet). I flung several kunai and senbon, hitting a few slow bandits and distracting the rest enough to make my escape.

Five men followed me, three of them shinobi. I was confident that they knew these woods better, but I hoped that my stealth training and speed would keep me far enough ahead that I could double back around and keep them from figuring out my maneuver.

I pulled on the chakra string connected to my first shuriken only after the men had followed me for about three minutes. I figured that would be enough time for the boys to figure out what was going on. Lee and Gai knew about my new talent, and I figured that Neji would recognize the shuriken as mine. If they followed it, then it would lead them straight to the encampment.

Only a few minutes later I could hear more noise in the clearing and figured that the rest of my team had understood my message.

I took out the two bandits first, as they fell behind the chakra enhanced shinobi.

The next two shinobi didn't see me coming and seemed pretty low-level. The last guy detected me before I had any shot at him, and I ended up running back toward my teammates. I was pretty sure that I recognized him from the Bingo Book as a wind user and I didn't want to be screwed if we fought.

I managed to get back to the clearing fast enough to see all three of my partners engaged in fighting. The bandits had been easy fodder, but some of the shinobi weren't so simple.

I was pretty sure that each of them was facing a jonin, including Lee. Only his speed seemed to prevent any disastrous outcomes and I felt frustrated that someone had the clout to hire this many nin.

My own ninja landed in the clearing just shy of two minutes after me. He was bigger in the firelight and I recognized him for sure. He was a jonin, and was an expert elemental wind user. They weren't very common, but I knew that I was screwed whenever I met them. I threw a few shuriken and kunai at him, purposefully missing in order to create a web around him. I had to get a plan in place before the guy got whatever wind techniques he had going. He wouldn't be able to see my strings. Kankuro had been confident that even Neji would have a hell of a time.

I didn't throw anything else as soon as I noticed that he had finished whatever jutsu he had. It sent me flying and I landed heavily against a tree. Neji finished off his own jonin quickly after that and was ready to engage mine before I'd even shaken off the damage.

"Don't, Neji!" I warned him. "Help Lee first." I pulled the guy away from the scene, distracting him by pretending to prepare a jutsu and just replacing myself with a shuriken before he managed to send another blast my way. I knew that I couldn't finish him off without some help and looked to see if there were something I could do for the others.

Neji and Lee were handling their jonin well enough, but I yanked a few senbon into the guy's back anyway. None of them were expecting chakra strings from the Hidden Leaf. It wasn't something that we ever really did. Their guy fell rather heavily to the ground and I was thankful that I'd sent those senbon before running off.

Neji looked confused when the guy was suddenly an easier target, but Neji could see that the senbon had hit some vital chakra areas. He would be incapacitated soon and hopefully Neji and Lee would help me out.

I managed to escape my guy for those few moments of distraction, but suddenly he had found me again.

I ran up a tree, avoiding several blasts of what was sharp, compressed air, and found myself hoping that Neji and Lee could hurry up. Air was faster than me, of that I had no doubt.

Gai actually finished first and was the first one there to help me out. His dynamic entry did almost take the guy out, but the guy reacted fast and Gai was flung into a tree almost in exactly the same way that I was.

Neji was the next to appear and I could see him taking in everything around the clearing in confusion. Apparently Kankuro was wrong and Neji could see my strings. His eyes did look a little strained though, so I took some pride in that.

Lee hung back while Neji engaged the man. Lee hadn't managed to learn to stick his feet with chakra yet, and he at least knew that a wind user could blast him farther than the rest of us.

I helped Neji as best I could, serving as a distraction, but I knew that just throwing my weapons in my usual method would be useless.

I waited until Neji had closed enough of the guy's **tekensu** that he probably couldn't release a hail of wind and send all my weapons careening into my teammates before I interfered.

I tossed a few senbon as a distraction, also forcing Neji to back off from the guy, and then pulled all of the kunai and shuriken that had made the web earlier. The guy avoided most of the shuriken, but one ended up in his back. Several kunai lodged in his legs and shoulders and I sort of felt disgusted by the display. He flopped like a rag doll as I pulled on the weapons that were still attached to my strings and I tried not to be too annoyed. I hadn't thought about the nastiness of human puppetry.

Gai was suddenly back behind me. "Excellent work my beautiful flower! You've developed your new skill well!"

Lee hobbled over to join us, apparently needing to put in his words and agreement whenever his mentor said anything. "Your shuriken led us straight here, Tenten!"

I looked at Neji and watched as he traced the strings still attached to the kunai lodged in our enemy straight to my hands. I wondered if I were reminding him of the spider guy, Neji's first kill.

Neji had changed and he didn't just "Hn," like he would have before Naruto's ass-kicking.

"I didn't know about your new skill, Tenten. It was extremely helpful, but I might have been more . . . useful in your fight if I had known earlier." He was praising me, but also chastising me for keeping information from him about his teammates. He might have been able to use my chakra strings earlier, but my plan had worked. He didn't really need to make me feel like I'd done wrong.

"You'll never know everything about your teammates, Neji. You know that. Sometimes on missions you just need to trust your partners." He didn't know me, and I felt almost defensive after spending time with Kankuro. I was not sure that I wanted Neji to know about me at all.

Neji nodded, not disagreeing with me. He knew that under normal circumstances he would have known only the basics about his partner's skills. No ninja liked to reveal everything in his or her arsenal. It went against our secretive nature. Neji was just upset that he hadn't known I could do something. Maybe he was reminded that I really did improve without him around.

"We'll continue tomorrow," Gai–sensei said. "This group wasn't our target, so hope that they don't have too many more jonin in their service." Lee looked disappointed at the thought of less fighting (and less of a chance to prove himself), but Neji nodded his head. He probably wanted to finish this mission as soon as possible. He had a life to return to back in the Hidden Leaf.

Three weeks after my rather flashy show of skill, I noticed Neji just standing rather awkwardly outside of my usual shop of choice for new weapons. It was actually the same shop that I'd stolen my first kunai from, but was currently under different management. The new owner wasn't as inept and didn't allow thievery.

I snuck up on him, figuring that this would just be an opportunity to test my chakra concealment skills. He actually missed my presence until I was only a few meters from him.

"What's up, Neji?" I greeted pretending to have just found him.

He looked skeptical and must have known what I had done.

"Were you looking for me, Neji?" I tried to ask casually.

"Yes, but you are difficult to find."

"Really? Why is that?" He had the decency to look mildly embarrassed.

"I don't know where you live. Nor where you train. I also don't know the location of your favorite places to eat. I guessed that this shop was one that you frequented since it is toted as the best in town." He had tired to find out about me then; he was making an effort to learn about his crush.

I laughed at him, trying not to note how much he had changed and how uncomfortable I felt around him. I only wanted him to leave, not unlike my young self who liked to observe him, not be observed.

"No one really knows those things, Neji. Teammates sometimes do, but certainly not always. I know where you live because you're a Hyuuga, but I've never been to Lee's house. I know his district, but couldn't point out his house." Neji still didn't seem placated and stared at me with obvious annoyance.

"I could find Gai or Lee easily enough." I shrugged my shoulders, refusing to give anything away. I'd lived in the same apartment since we were eight-years old. I didn't feel the need to tell him the location now.

"What's up then, Neji?" I tried to sound flippant, as if asking about a mission or something equally normal for our conversations.

He did that hesitation thing that I was used to and felt pretty confident that Neji hadn't really changed as much as he wanted me to believe.

"I wanted to speak with you." Nope, he hadn't changed. He still wanted what he wanted, not what anyone else needed.

"Sure Neji. Pick a place and we can meet up later. I sort of have things to do today." I was unspecific and I'm sure that he knew it. He accepted what I said without comment anyway, probably grateful that I'd agreed to a meeting.

"May we meet at Training Ground 5 today at five?" He was asking, not commanding, but the tone was still in his voice. He had changed a bit in his behavior, but certainly not as much as he pretended. Neji was still Neji.

"Sure, that'll be fine," I agreed without much thought. Teammates could meet up whenever they wanted. I knew that he had something else in mind besides meer training, but I did not want him to know that I knew that.

I waited for him to leave before entering the shop. I didn't want Neji to see what I was doing.

"Hey!" I called to the day manager, "How's business today?"

"Great, like always," she replied looking rather tired.

"Boss working you too hard?" I asked jocularly.

"It's not her, but the amount of people that come through this place. I want a second worker, but my boss says wait for approval." She was joking right back, enjoying the easy work environment that I promoted.

"We'll see about getting that," I promised with a smile.

"Thanks, Tenten. You're definitely the most sensible of the owners. The rest of them are just money grubbing bastards."

"They put up most of the collateral though, so don't be too harsh. I just had an idea and got some ninja to invest," I reminded her of the shop's past. I might have been the idea person, but I was not the only one with control over the shop.

"Yeah, but we all know that you're the brains," she flattered me smiling like a perfect sales woman.

"Maybe," I agreed trying not to sound arrogant, "but we don't need to say things like that when a family member of one of the investors was just outside." I did not want to chastise her, but a little reminder was in order.

"Hyuuga?" She asked knowing the list of major investors.

"Yes."

"Sorry. My lips are sealed."

"Thanks," I said grabbing a sword off the wall. I hadn't really perfected my usage of swords and I was suddenly reminded due to the sword's lenght that ANBU commonly carried short swords.

"I'm going to take this one," I told the girl as I placed it back in its pouch. "Please mark it in the till and we'll take it out later."

"Sure thing." They were used to my common requests like this. The whole getting ninja to invest in a weapon store was really just a way for me to more easily afford and have access to more weapons. None of the investors seemed to particularly care as long as I kept the store in the black.

I walked out with my new sword and strapped it to my back as I walked. It was a bit cumbersome with two scrolls, but nothing that I couldn't handle.

I practiced with my new sword until four-thirty, when I headed over to meet Neji at Training Ground 5. I remembered it well, and I was sure that he did too.

I arrived after him, although I was at least ten minutes early.

"Hello, Tenten," he greeted with a partial smile. It was mildly unnerving, but again showed an attempt to be human.

"Hey, Neji." I plopped myself down under a tree and sat as comfortably as I could with my excess load. He was disinclined to sit until I made a gesture that indicated he could actually sit close to me. I knew that he would sit if he were given a chance to be near me.

I waited until he sat before asking, "What do you want, Neji?"

He wouldn't have called me here without a reason, and I was sure that it was for himself. He certainly wasn't here about a problem with Lee, Gai, or even Hinata. He wouldn't care enough for that.

He'd practiced this or was just ready to speak because his words were very sure. "Are you avoiding me, Tenten?" I wasn't shocked by the question, but more at his belief that I would care enough to try to escape his notice.

"No, not at all, actually. You're the one who is busy Neji. We discussed this before. You are going to be gone. You're of course part of Team Gai and always will be, but you're not going on missions with us all the time. You're a jonin and Lee and I are not." It didn't matter that we'd discussed this over two years ago while he was in a drugged state; I still wanted to remind him that we had already had _all_ of this conversation.

Neji seemed like he wanted to stand up and I didn't try to stop him. Some people found moving while speaking made the words flow easier.

"But you could be a jonin, Tenten. Easily. You could be with me." Yep, this was definitely about him. He didn't see Lee or Gai or even me. The world was just Neji.

"I'm not jonin material yet, Neji. I'm close, but not there yet. Lee and I are both close. Maybe another year or two and we'll be at where you are now, but we're never going to catch you. You're beyond us now, and probably always will be."

He knew that I wasn't just talking about a teammate matter. I knew what Neji wanted, but he couldn't have it. He wanted it, but he didn't need it. He needed other things and what he _wanted_ was only going to get in the way.

"I could help you, Tenten. You can get to where I am. I saw what you did. Lee and Gai did too. You're good. You've gotten really good." He didn't say 'in my absence,' but it went unspoken between us. We both knew that not interacting with him kept me busy. It kept me stronger.

"Lee and I are not even at the same level yet, Neji. He's still way beyond me. Lee's probably going to be a jonin before me, and I'm fine with that. I don't have your ability or his skill, and I'm fine with that. I'm doing fine on my own, Neji. I like my life."

He was frustrated and made a growling sound. He sat down in front of me, closer than before. I wasn't sure if he realized, but I did. I thought about moving back, but did not want to draw his notice to our closeness.

He searched my face, trying to force me to look into his eyes. "I know it's selfish, Tenten. I know that you know that I'm selfish. You even know that I know that I'm selfish."

"And you know that I know that you know that you're selfish," I said this with a hint of laughter, trying to make light of a difficult situation. I did not want to have a serious conversation.

"I want you with me," he stated without any apologies. He was being selfish, and he knew that I knew it, so he was unapologetic.

"I know Neji, but we've had this conversation before," and I did not care to repeat the same things. My feelings on the situation had not changed, and they would not.

"We're having it again," he said without leaving any room for argument. Were he with anyone else, he might have tried to be polite and kind, but he knew that I knew the real him. I knew that he was a bastard.

"Fine, but the outcome won't change." He reached out as if he wanted to touch my leg, but thankfully pulled back at the last moment. I didn't know what I would do if he disobeyed the one thing that I'd ever really asked of him. I did not want him touching me.

"Remember, Neji." I warned very quietly through gritted teeth.

"I know Tenten, I won't forget," he promised quietly. He at least realized how serious I was about the touching.

"You're Hyuuga Neji," I told him with a smile, trying to return the light banter that I was so good at providing. "You're going to change your clan and be one of the greatest ninja that this village has ever seen. You're going to make ANBU in maybe a year and after that I don't really know. Maybe you'll like it enough to stay for a while, but you'll eventually go back to your clan. You'll return as the pride of them all, and they'll have to admit how similar the main and branch families are. After that, you'll work from the inside, politically trying to change the clan. You'll still of course be a jonin, working jobs for the Hokage as he tries to establish peace. You'll probably be a close, personal friend and the two of you will often be together. You'll be busy, but eventually you will probably have a family. You'll want to carry on the Hyuuga and that means children. You won't have any though until after you've worked with the Hokage to abolish the Caged Bird Seal and maybe even found a way to undo it. You'll be happy then, and feel as though your life has been a success. You might die at home, or you might die on a mission, either way you will have completed what you set out to do and will feel satisfied in the end." I predicted his entire happy future as I could see it. Neji's life would be perfect, with everything that he _truly_ wanted and needed.

Neji look at me in that way that always made me feel uncomfortable.

"I am Tenten, Hyuuga Neji," I reminded him.

"Yes, I know," he assured me, although I did not believe him.

"I'm just Tenten, Hyuuga Neji." He couldn't disagree with me because it was true. I was trying to make him see what he already knew to be.

"You're the Tenten who has a teammate named Hyuuga Neji," he said trying to prove that he could understand what I was saying.

"Yes, and her teammate wants something, but it is not what he needs," I explained to him without saying our names. The situation was too tense, and I could not handle the emotional load.

"No, he doesn't need it, but he wants it." At least Neji could acknowledge that he did not need me by his side as anything other than the capacity that I currently served.

"Almost as much as his entire dream," I said shaking my head. "But his dream is what will bring him real happiness, not this thing that he wants," and this I promised him. He did not understand Hyuuga Neji like I understood Hyuuga Neji.

"Can you be sure?" he asked with uncertainty. He did not believe me, and probably did not want to.

"Yes."

"Because you know Hyuuga Neji," he finished for me, understanding my words, but perhaps still not believing them.

"Yes, better than he knows himself." I smiled then and stood up. I offered him my hand, an offer of friendship, but nothing more. I hesitated for only a moment before grasping my hand far too gently. Kankuro would never treat me delicately in his persuits.

Neji stared at me as we shook hands, and I knew exactly what he wanted more than anything. He wanted it at that moment, but I knew that later he would want something else. He had a path in life that would make him happy, and it was only that one path that would really bring him peace.


	4. Adulthood I

**Part 4:** **Adulthood I**

_We all have to get older sometime . . ._

Neji and I were back to normal as soon as I left the clearing. I still followed him, but he never knew. I still watched over him, but he had no idea.

My original jutsu actually formed in my head after my many training sessions with Neji. It was just an idea, but after I learned sealing and chakra-strings, I realized that it was actually possible.

The first time that I pumped my chakra into the scrolls, they didn't move at all, but everything came out in a pile of absolutely deadly weapons that were absolutely harmless when no force was attached.

I next tried just pulling them with my strings, but that didn't work either. The scrolls wove around, the strings got in the way of the projectiles, and it was all together a mess.

My final solution was to spin myself in the air, forcing the scrolls to move with me. It worked and my twin dragons were formed. I could only really hold two scrolls at a time, so twin dragons was all that I could manage.

I had great aim when I was holding a weapon, but manipulating the chakra strings connected to _many _weapons-while spinning and holding the scrolls, proved difficult. I realized that it would be hard, but not impossible. I was always good at seeing while spinning.

My twin dragon scroll technique took four months to perfect. No one knew about it until I killed ten men while Lee, Gai-sensei, and I were on a mission. Both of them were suitably impressed and both praised my creativity.

I didn't feel like it was much, but it was at least effective. I was slowly accepting that my ninjutsu was really lacking, but I was going to work with what I had available. Chakra strings were a major achievement and my own creativity and excellent aim molded my technique's effectiveness.

Back to my . . . Neji. He didn't make ANBU the first time that they tried him. It was only a few months after our talk and I knew that he would fail. He wasn't ready and was still too emotionally unstable. I watched most of his trials, following them whenever they gave ability examinations. He passed those easily. I didn't see the test that he failed, but I knew that it was a mental game. Neji was a lot less selfish and a lot less of a jerk, but he was still Neji. His own desires confused him; he was introspective, but not enough to recognize what he needed.

Just a month later Naruto returned and Team Gai had our first mission all together in months. We still worked well together and still we were extremely good at traveling fast. We didn't save the day, but I was extremely pleased with our mission. None of our people died, and we only lost the original puppet master that Kankuro mentioned to me so long ago. I stuck around long enough to retrieve the puppet pieces of Sasori left behind. I sealed them in a scroll and sent it along to Kankuro for whenever he woke up. I know that he'd enjoy having the puppet of a true master. I sent Granny Chiyo's puppets too, and everything that I could find in that cave.

Lee and Neji watched me gather the pieces, but only Lee asked what I was doing. I explained about Kankuro and how puppetry worked. Lee nodded as if he understood whatever was going unspoken, but Neji had a hard look. He stared at me while I searched for pieces, and stared even harder at the scroll that I sent back to Gaara's brother.

He was jealous and he tried to hide his contempt. He knew that I saw, so he attempted to stop making faces.

Three days later we were back in the Leaf and I was planning a visit to the Sand Siblings. Lee and Gai-sensei were thrilled for me since I had developed an 'awesome' technique after our last visit, but Neji didn't actually know where I was going. He wouldn't know until either of our other teammates told him.

Four days after I arrived in Konoha, I was back in the Sand. I had permission from the Hokage as an official diplomatic liaison, much like Temari, but Lady Tsunade also knew that I was going to see the Kazekage**'**s brother, which she happily encouraged. My idol intended to keep the Hidden Leaf and Sand close, so any relationship between me and Kankuro was fine, as long as, to quote the Hokage, "there is no parting on bad terms because we don't want a minor or major diplomatic crisis over a lover's spat." I told the Hokage that our relationship wasn't like that, but she just shooed me away. She was a smart woman and knew that Kankuro had other intentions.

I arrived at full noon, not the hottest part of the day, but certainly the brightest, to find Kankuro waiting for me in his ridiculous cat costume with the full kabuki paint. I punched him in the arm before even saying hello and used the distraction to attach some strings to his funky hood. When we were halfway to his house I yanked the ears right off his head and started running. I knew that he'd chase me if only so that we could have a bit of fun.

We were lying in the shade created by one of the buildings on his property (there were no trees) when I finally decided to ask him.

"Kankuro," I said without my usual confidence.

"Yeah?" he replied with his usual lackadaisical air.

"Why do you take such an interest in me and my life?" I propped myself up on my elbow and stared at him. He continued to stare at nothing for a few moments before he finally came to some decision and copied my pose.

"Well, Tenten, why do you have such an interest in Neji?" He started into my eyes, daring me to respond. He probably figured that I did not actually have an answer.

"Childhood obsession turned competition turned debt turned interest." I recited for him. I knew myself well enough to understand that much.

"I know all that," he said rolling back. He paused before continuing, "But you left out the final part, 'turned obligation.'" I didn't comment whether he was right or wrong because I wasn't sure. Kankuro was smart, perhaps not like Neji, but he knew people.

"But that doesn't answer my question," I insisted as I reached across to poke his shoulder.

"Sure it does," he said as he pretended to brush off his shoulder as if there were an annoying fly buzzing around him.

I lay back down in imitation of his relaxed pose, but my mind was probably more occupied than his. I tried every way to think of what Kankuro had said. He hadn't known me as a child-that wasn't possible; he had never really needed to compete with me; he didn't owe me a debt, but perhaps I owed him one.

"Would you be more clear, please?" I asked in a whiny voice. I tried to think of ways to force him to answer.

"Nope."

"Trying to force me to figure it out?" I guessed trying to at least get him to answer his motives.

"Maybe," he replied flatly and uselessly.

"And maybe you just don't want to answer," I said trying to goad him.

"Could be that too," he acquiesced without a thought.

I flopped down and wondered if this was how Neji felt. I hoped not, as this was quite frustrating.

"Well, want to show me your new puppets at least?" I asked figuring that he would at least react to that. As expected, he was engaged in conversation almost instantly. As soon as his passions were mentioned, he was interested again.

"It would have been an incredible waste if you hadn't thought to send me those pieces!" Kankuro practically gushed. I could understand his fascination. I was a weapon's mistress, and I could act that way over a new toy very easily. He was sitting up and looking down at me with absolute adoration. Apparently the puppets met even more to him than I had hoped.

"Best present ever, then?" I asked only half serious.

"Most definitely," he said with complete and utter devotion as only a master could achieve. "No girl has ever given me something this utterly perfect," he said as he reached to grab my hand. Kankuro was an emotional person, unafraid to show his gratitude, and I was enjoying the attention.

I was suddenly curious, especially as I remembered that he was the former Kazekage's son and the current's brother. "Do you get a lot of presents from girls, then?" I asked as I disguised his hand hold as an offer to help me up.

He hesitated to answer, so I laughed. "That's the best answer, Kankuro—the kind where you don't actually need to say anything." Kankuro was definitely clever when it came to women, another sign that he had at least been around those who were attracted to him.

"Are you jealous?" he asked sounding legitimately curious and perhaps hopeful.

I paused to think for a moment. "No, not really. More interested." I really was not jealous of these other girls; Kankuro was not mine and he deserved the opportunity to be with girls.

"You don't need to be jealous anyway. The girls who give me things are nothing like you." We were both standing and I knew that he was hitting on me, but I was unsure about reciprocating.

"I know. No self-respecting ninja girl would give anything other than a puppet to a puppet obsessed boy," I said trying to lighten the mood. I did not want to hurt him, but I was still unsure of how I felt.

"Yes," he agreed completely with my statement. "And I hate keeping gifts just because they're gifts. It's annoying." I refrained from mentioning that I'd never really had the same problem. I couldn't remember the last time that anyone had given me a present, but I was fairly certain that Lee and Gai-sensei had probably given something incredibly silly on my last birthday. They were nuts like that.

"So, where are my gifts? Here at your home, or at a secret lair?" I teased as I started walking back toward his house.

"You know me better than you think," Kankuro gushed as he grabbed my hand again and pulled me in the opposite direction.

"You actually have a secret lair, then?" I asked amused, but not really surprised.

"Maybe. It wouldn't be secret if I showed you," he teased again as he continued to hold my hand.

"It's only a secret if two people know," I agreed, playing along.

"You can't hide anything in the desert from Gaara," he corrected, as I would not be the first to see his secret base.

"Ahh, then it won't be secret for long. The Kazekage has such loose lips," I said with mock seriousness as I shook my head and looked at him sadly.

My act did not last for long, and we both descended into laughter at the thought.

I remembered that only a week ago he had almost died and tried to pull away.

"Don't strain yourself," I warned, thinking about what all of the hard laughter and pulling could be doing to his insides. "Sakura will kill me and I really don't want your brother pissed either," I said trying to disguise my own concern.

"I'm fine. I've been doing nothing but resting and playing with my new toys for days," he said rolling his eyes. He wasn't concerned for himself, so he did not understand my worry.

I suddenly felt the weight of his near demise. I almost lost a dear friend. I grabbed his hand in an uncharacteristically open display of affection.

"I'm very happy that you survived, Kankuro," I told him with a shy smile. I probably would have hugged him, but I feared for his ribs.

He smiled at me. "Only thanks to your people am I here today." It was strange for him to admit a weakness and I wondered what brought his change of attitude. Ninja should never admit a debt to another, but apparently Kankuro trusted the Leaf more than I had thought.

"You really would've died without the Leaf?" I asked meely. I wasn't sure that I wanted to hear the answer.

"No doubt," he replied far too nonchalantly. "I would've been a goner." He said all of this flippantly, obviously unconcerned about the horror he was implying.

"And you're admitting this." I stated in shock. Kankuro was a proud Sand ninja, and an even prouder man. He did not like to ask for help, and admitting to needing another village's assistance was a major sore spot for the pride of most ninja.

He shrugged his shoulders and continued to pull me along in an unknown direction; I couldn't tell north from south in the desert. If he had let me go, I could have wondered out there for days without finding anyone.

"Seems strange," I commented after a few minutes of our companioned travel.

"Maybe," he said with his usual evasiveness. He was a wall today and was only answering what he really felt open to discussing.

"Gonna tell me why?" I asked when he said nothing to continue. I wanted to know, even if he did not care to share.

"Maybe I don't mind owing a debt to the Leaf," he said as he squeezed my hand a little tighter, but said nothing.

"I'd ask why, but you're only going to answer if you want to," I told him since I had caught on to his little manipulative game. He wanted me to ask him questions, but only so that he could answer what he felt like answering.

He pulled me forward as we stood before a door that led into the ground and grabbed my other hand.

He was a big man and I had to look up to see his face. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I don't feel like it's a debt any more with the Leaf. We've helped each other out a lot, even if my side has gotten more benefit than yours." I thought about how Naruto had saved Gaara twice now and how the Leaf had not destroyed the Sand with their betrayal. Yeah, the partnership was pretty uneven, but the Leaf didn't seem particularly bothered by this fact. I knew that I wasn't bothered that I'd given Kankuro some new incredibly dangerous weapons-I hadn't even thought to ask the Hokage for permission.

"Gaara, Temari, and I, we all want the Leaf to be family. Family doesn't count debts against one another. It's their way." He was staring at me. He was trying to tell me something. Kankuro had never really had a family, but he was trying to build one. Having a real brother was new for him, and although his sister had always been around, she had never found the time to care for Kankuro. All three of them had changed though, and Kankuro liked having a real family—a group that he could count as loyal and reliable.

"You want to be family with the Leaf?" I asked wanting to be sure that I really understood his meaning.

"Yes," he answered without looking at me as he pulled me inside the door. I did not ask any more questions, as it felt disruptive in the darkness. Kankuro's place was a place of silence. He led me down the stairs, confidently, betraying his frequent voyages down to his cellar.

There was only the light at the end, and when we were standing outside the room I realized that it was actually only a single ceiling light that lit the room. It wasn't overly bright, and I could see the smaller lamps that would be used for hand-held work.

I sat down on the floor as he pulled out several human sized objects from the corner closet. I didn't need to guess what they were, and I tried to avoid looking at them until he brought them closer. Human puppets were creepy, and I figured that Kankuro knew how everyone reacted to them.

He dropped down beside me and manipulated the puppets to move before us. I recognized pieces that I'd gathered, seeing for the first time a very human looking red-haired boy and a very awful looking piece of monster. There was another human, but I had to restrain myself from running away. That monstrosity was the worst looking and had an aura of hatred and cruelty lying about it.

"These are Sasori, then?" I asked standing up to get a closer look. I didn't flinch when Kankuro caused the heads to move. I had promised myself to stay calm, simply reminding myself that I had helped gathering these pieces. The puppets were not people, but just pieces of their bodies . . . glued.

"Yes, these are what I've managed to put together," he said touching them with affection.

"They don't look so dangerous now," I said with certainty. They really did look harmless, just creepy.

"This one," he caused the red-haired boy to stand before me, "It's probably the deadliest weapon that the Sand has ever possessed; well, except for the biju of course."

I stared into the dead eyes of the puppet and tried to imagine that it could destroy me. It wasn't hard. The thing was lifelike and looked wrong. The eyes held death, a sad decaying death. I tried not to think about how I had touched the pieces of it. It was a monstrosity, and I wasn't sure that it belonged in even Kankuro's collection.

"Should I regret giving it to you then?" I asked smiling and turning, reminding myself that this thing was a deadly weapon, and not just a creepy doll. I wasn't sure if I were serious or not with my question.

"No, I'll never use it against people of the Leaf," Kankuro promised as he flexed one of the arms. He meant what he said, and he appreciated this thing, whatever it really was.

'Not while we have our alliance anyway,' I silently added.

I moved forward and touched its face. It was like the small boy that Neji had been. It was lifeless and angry. It was a killer. Neji could have turned into a monster like this thing. We were lucky that he hadn't when his father had been taken from him. Neji had needed to shut himself down to survive, so he'd become almost as lifeless as this thing.

"Should I take this back with me, then? I kind of like it," I lied trying to restore our banter and diffuse my unease.

"You could try, but I wouldn't let you." I didn't try to argue. "I'm still stronger than you." He was only stating what we both knew to be true. He was a real jonin, and I was still just a chonin.

"Maybe another time, then," I said stepping away. Kankuro made them all silently disappear, and the room suddenly seemed even gloomier than before.

"Let's get out of here, then," he said as he reached for my hand once more.

"Sure," I said allowing him to touch me. I wanted to get out of the building as well.

He squeezed my hand I didn't object. The place was spooky and he was confident in the dark, while I could easily fall into one of his toys.

"So, Tenten . . . You haven't said much since we left," Kankuro observed. I noticed that he didn't give a name to his workshop. I wondered what a person could call such a dark and dismal place, but reminded myself that my personal feelings about the place probably did not match Kankuro's. The place reminded me of the viewing room at wakes, but Kankuro seemed to feel perfectly at ease. He must have sensed my discontent though, as my silence was obvious.

"I'm thoughtful," I conceded trying to placate the man before me. He was always trying to get into my head.

"You're thinking about Neji." Maybe he wasn't _trying_ to get inside of my brain. Kankuro seemed to know what I was thinking even before I was sure of it myself.

"Yeah," and I was. I was thinking about how things might have been.

"And this relates to my puppets how exactly?" Kankuro asked with humor. He was trying to keep the mood light, but I could feel something else from him. He did not like that I was thinking about Neji again while Kankuro had just brought me to his secret place.

I should not have been thinking about Neji. Kankuro and I were in a restaurant together, and it was his favorite—not Neji's, but Kankuro's. This was the place where Kankuro had helped me admit my strange alternative life in which everything revolved around Neji. I owed it to Kankuro to tell him the truth.

"That Sasori doll . . . it reminded me of him." I did not need to say Neji's name aloud, and I knew that Kankuro would understand.

He nodded his head, seemingly pleased that I was thinking about Neji and the doll, instead of some unknown else. "Yeah, it reminded me of Gaara when I first saw it." He paused to consider the Gaara of today before correcting, "Well, it has the look of the old Gaara, not the one all love today." Kankuro smiled, showing the affection that he held for his little brother.

"It has that dead look," I agred with a small shudder.

"It is dead, well sort of. Sasori's puppets were once living vessels. It keeps their chakra inside." He obviously knew that what he was saying was disturbing, but he was trying to be logical about the situation. I appreciated that he was trying to remind me of the simplicity of the puppet, but I still could not avoid my emotional reaction.

"That's not what I meant," I told him with a slight shake of my head. I wanted to talk about that puppet's eyes.

"Yeah, I know," he affirmed, once more showing just how well he understood my thoughts.

He was silent, giving me a chance to think.

"That's how Neji could have been," I said softly into the cup that Kankuro had once again procured for me. Perhaps he had sensed that this afternoon would stir-up strange feelings again.

"Gaara too," he agreed without any hesitation. That thought of Gaara as he once was probably disturbed Kankuro as much as the thought of Neji as an emotionless killer upset me. Either of them could have been a lifeless doll.

"Gaara's different now. He has a purpose. He loves this village, and they love him," I reminded Kankuro. Perhaps we were comforting each other.

"Doesn't Neji have a purpose, too?" Kankuro tried to push. He was trying to make me see a point. I remembered my last real conversation with Neji, and I was extremely inclined to agree with Kankuro.

"Something's different about Gaara, though. Gaara has everything that he needs." I paused considering, "Does he have what he wants, too?" I said with genuine curiosity. Perhaps this was Neji's missing piece.

Kankuro had the decency to think before answering. He could have told me something to make me forget about Neji, but Kankuro was honest. "Maybe. Gaara wants what he needs. They're not really different for him. He wanted love because he needed it. He wanted to be Kazekage because he needed to redeem himself. He wanted to protect the village because he needed something to keep him human-ish."

"And love?" I pressed for Neji. Kankuro was putting into words what I had been trying to figure out for months.

"He's got the village people who adore him, but more than that, he has his family and his friend . . . s . . . now." Gaara was happy with those around him. Gaara had what he wanted and what he needed. It was the same, so everything fell into place.

Neji wasn't the same.

"Neji wants something desperately," I explained to Kankuro leaning forward. I was a bit tipsy and probably would have said less if I had not taken any of the drink Kankuro offered.

"But he doesn't need it?" Kankuro asked for clarification. If Neji's wanted something, but did not need it, then why did he want it?

"No, he doesn't," I agreed flopping back into my chair. Neji could have what he needed to be happy, but that was not what he wanted to be happy. Neji wanted something else, and that something would not fulfill Neji's destiny—or bring him happiness.

Kankuro knew what we were talking about, but he didn't get annoyed. That was his way.

"He doesn't need you?" he asked trying and succeeding at sounding flippant.

"I don't think so. I'm not going to help him change his clan. I'd actually get in the way of those plans," I said without bitterness. I'd know this to be true for a long time.

"What's bothering you, then?" he asked as he leaned forward and grasped my hand. The thought flew through my head that he was very touchy today, but that I was enjoying it.

I tried to put my thoughts into simple terms, but I was finding articulation suddenly difficult. "I'm worried that I'm keeping something that he might need from him."

Kankuro relaxed in his chair in a way that told me he had a simple answer for me.

"You aren't what he needs, Tenten. You represent something: love, maybe. You're devoted to him, so he can't help but love you. He needs someone to care about him, to understand him, we all do. Some people need that more than others. Neji's just . . . a bit more insane than most of us. He's like Gaara without the demon, so slightly less deranged."

"Advice from someone who lived with a damaged person for twelve years?" I asked trying to break the tension.

"Yep, and you can believe what I'm saying for that reason. Neji's hung up on you because you care about him. He needs someone like you around, maybe not you specifically, but you've just been there for a long time. He's in love with you because you're the only one who has ever really understood him." Kankuro said all of this with absolute confidence. Kankuro seemed to believe that he understood Neji as a man.

I wasn't being told anything that I hadn't thought myself, but I still felt disinclined to agree. Something was off.

"It's something else that Neji needs, Kankuro. I know it."

I liked that he knew that he really couldn't disagree with me, so he shrugged, sat back, and answered, "You would know him best."

The rest of our time together was a lot less tense and a lot more fun. Much of our conversation was light flirting, but we didn't go beyond that. We held hands on several occasions, but the feeling was comfortable, not intimate.

Our relationship was not needy or passionate. We were together, comfortable and thoughtful. We enjoyed one another's company, and that was enough for both of us, but I was unwilling to make any decisions until after I at least made jonin. Village alliances were always tenuous to keep and while I was willing to make any sacrifices necessary to help both of our villages, I just wasn't sure that Kankuro had made the right choice in partner. He wanted our villages allied as a family, and as he saw it, we made an excellent pair to start that process.

**Tips or ideas? I have had this written for a while, but it wasn't set. I'm afraid to put too much out before I know more about what's going on in the manga. What are your thoughts on Kankuro now?**


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